SWACAstuck
by KlonoaDreams
Summary: It starts when one person decides to stream a harmless game over the internet and it ends with others being dragged into it. Not even FAQs are enough to avoid the zany mistakes of a blind-run.
1. New Game

A/N I know what you guys are thinking…Another fandom, Klonoa?! Goddammit, Klonoa, what about your other stories?! *gets bricked* Read the bottom A/N for more information…ow…

Anyways, STANDARD DISCLAIMER TO AVOID GETTING MY ASS SUED!

**Disclaimer for the whole story: I don't own Homestuck and neither does SWACA. Andrew Hussie owns Homestuck. I doubt I'll ever have the skill he has to everything that makes Homestuck so glorious. *laments lack of skill***

Summary: AU It starts when one person decides to stream a harmless game over the internet and it ends with others being dragged into it. Not even FAQs are enough to avoid the zany mistakes of a blind-run.

"This" is talking

"_This"_ is thoughts

"_**This"**_ is radio/Skype call/transmission/etc…

* * *

…

A young woman stands in her bedroom. It just so happens that today is not at all in anyway special to her. It is just another day of summer being spent doing absolutely nothing. Had it been two months ago, there might have been something to actually consider special. It just so happens that two months ago it had been her high school graduation, and weeks before from that time, it had been her eighteenth birthday.

With only a couple of months shy of leaving home for the start of university life, this young woman has decided to kill the rest of her time in front of her laptop. Just as if she has always done since receiving access to the internet via laptop. Today she has decided to stream a recent video game she had received through the mail today.

She is entirely blind for this game and for such an occasion, she has a certain internet buddy from her group of streamer friends. Said friend should be looking up an FAQ and despite the actual help, it is obvious that there shall be many moments in which this young woman will make even the most patient of people face palm.

"Okay, I got a new laptop and a new game to try out!" the young woman says as she logs into her twitch account. She is speaking to her internet buddy via skype. "You got the FAQ ready?"

"_**Yup yup!"**_ says her internet buddy.

"Okay, xsplit is just about up and the game has finished loading." This young woman has been waiting ages for this game to come out, never mind that it's just a beta of sorts. "And there's that glorious break screen that I made the day I ordered the game."

"_**What's this game about?"**_ asks her internet buddy.

"That requires me to go into detail over something that even the whole fanbase, let alone me, doesn't understand." This young woman has clearly come to this conclusion months ago.

"_**Homestuck?"**_ her internet buddy guesses.

"Exactly." The young woman starts up the live stream and waits for some feedback from her watchers or at least her internet buddy. "Are we live? Can you hear me?"

"_**Hold on…"**_ her internet buddy says. After a few seconds, she replied, _**"Everything's audible."**_

The young woman smiles. "Okay! Hello everyone! KD's here to break in a game she knows practically nothing about! It's gonna be a blind-run of sorts, but Pana's got me covered with an FAQ. Right, Pana?"

"_**Yup-yup!"**_

"Okay, with that done, let's start this bitch up!" The young woman switches screens and sets up her PSP to sync up with the game's controls. "Hopefully, I don't screw up that badly from listening to the FAQ like I did with Final Fantasy VII."

Many "Goddammit Klonoa" and face palms were done as a result of that.

"Without further ado, let's start up Homestuck's beta video game!" It's just a beta and the real game won't be coming out for quite some time, but this young woman does not give a damn. "Hope your body is prepared because mine is!"

"_**Just what am I getting myself into?"**_

"I can probably predict many face palms and 'oh goddammit Klonoa' around," the young woman replies. As it was mentioned a few times, this young woman goes by the name Klonoa.

It is not her real name, for the real Klonoa was a video game character who was a dream traveler and definitely not female. The name KlonoaDreams was a simple homage to her love for the series and the nostalgia it gives her. Klonoa's real name is to remain classified unless she sees fit or someone who does in fact know her name decides to refer to her as such. Such scenario has yet to happen and Klonoa would like to keep it that way.

"Okay, so the game's up and…no way, we get to make our own character!" Klonoa is ecstatic. "Male or female, Pana?"

"_**I dunno, the FAQ says it doesn't really matter."**_ Klonoa's internet buddy happens to go by the name PanaSule, or Pana, for short. She is older than her friend by a few years and stands as one of oldest members of SWACA, AKA, streamers without a cool acronym.

It is best to explain that KlonoaDreams is also a member of SWACA, as are most of the people in the chat, but Klonoa does not really care. One, she doesn't get a lot of viewers in the first place, and two, she is not paying attention to the chat because she doesn't have it open. She doesn't want to take chances with stream lag and whatnot, even if it is a new laptop.

"I am tempted to play as male, mostly because why not?" Klonoa is up for trying out new things. "I could always play the girl in my spare time like I usually do with Persona 3 Portable…okay, so we're a guy! Not the first time I played as a guy, I mean Persona 4 Golden and all. Heh, I'm gonna be laughing if I get more viewers who really think I'm a guy."

Pana starts to laugh. _**"Klonoa, it just happened."**_

"Oh wow…how many?" Klonoa is amused.

"_**Two, but they're new viewers,"**_ Pana replies.

Klonoa is still amused nonetheless. "Yes, my voice does sound rather boyish, doesn't it?"

Pause…

"_**Angel says it sounds like a Klonoa,"**_ Pana remarks.

Klonoa laughs. "So I'm speaking Phantomile! Cool! Well, let's enter a birthday…I'm using mine because I have to at least make it relatable to me in some way. Okay! Now for a name…"

**ZOOSMELL POOPLORD.**

**TRY AGAIN, SMARTASS.**

Klonoa laughs. "Just checking if it still works…well, enough screwing around. Let's get serious!"

**JOHN EGBERT.**

**TRY AGAIN, SMARTASS.**

"What?" Klonoa is genuinely surprised. "Uh, is that supposed to happen?"

"_**I don't know…there's nothing about this in the FAQ…"**_ Pana replies. _**"Try again…?"**_

**KLONOA EGBERT.**

A green check mark appears next to the name. The game accepts this name and in-game Klonoa Egbert smiles.

"_**It's probably a glitch since this is just a beta,"**_ Pana surmises.

…

"_**Klonoa, are you there?"**_ Pana wonders if Skype is screwing up for Klonoa. Skype always screws up for Klonoa. It is one of the many things Klonoa hated about her crappy old laptop and something she hoped to she could leave behind with a new laptop.

"I'm here…" And Skype is not screwing up for Klonoa. "I…"

"_**What's wrong?"**_ Pana can tell Klonoa sounds scared.

"I didn't put my name in…" Klonoa feels the urge to freak out.

"_**Please tell me you're kidding…"**_ Pana sounds about ready to freak out as well.

"I can only wish I was—SHIT!" The computer screen conveniently flashes brightly as if to accompany this seemingly clichéd scenario involving weird crap happening. One would think this scene couldn't possibly get more clichéd.

But it did, starting with the fact that Klonoa was no longer sitting in front of her laptop once the light waned. In fact, she wasn't even in her room at all. She was gone and Pana was left hanging, calling out, _**"Klonoa? Klonoa? KLONOAAAAAA!"**_

…

…

* * *

A/N End of chapter one. So you survived chapter one. Well, then, thank you. Ahem, yeah, basically, Klonoa started reading _Homestuck_ (two days in May were spent starting and reaching Act 3 Intermission and three days in June were spent finishing off the rest of the pages up until the 6-17-13 update) and…ideas popped up in mind. Said ideas involved fanfiction and the streaming group, SWACA (Streamers Without a Cool Acronym). I happen to be part of that group and this is basically a collaboration with the group…and my moirail, (She's also on this site and also a member of SWACA). Speaking of Roni, she's the one who made the image I'm using as the cover! :D She is awesome!

So all in all, this is basically another _I am Trainer_ fic involving KD taking a break of sorts and having fun with a story, except this time, KD isn't alone in this. No, fuck that, she's taking down a few members of SWACA along with her…because why not? Trust me when I say that there is a big reason why some of SWACA members were in mind while I was reading Homestuck. You shall see what I mean in later chapters, that is...if you decide to stay.

This is also a way for me to show you guys the gamer side of KD because she doesn't just write stories, oh no, she also streams games. Yeah, I got a twitch…I haven't streamed a lot lately because my laptop is crap, so I'm hoping a new laptop will fix that…when I get it (soon, hopefully). It's also a good way to keep up in date with how my life is so far and how a day of doing nothing usually goes by because I have friends…yeah.

Okay, current SWACA members who have appeared so far:

**KlonoaDreams**

**PanaSule**

**Angel** (mentioned/cameo)

Well, hope this story didn't make your eyes bleed. Review if you wish, but just let me get this out…NO FLAMES. I don't care if you hate the story, but if you review telling me you hate this story, then you better tell me why, otherwise don't bother reviewing at all. Because I WILL call you out on it and I AM being serious about the "you won't like me when I'm angry" quote I'm using. I'm still new to this fandom in a sense that this is my first fanfiction for this fandom. I'm still getting the feel for it…yeah…well, that's it for now. Shenanigans will ensue in the next chapter, so until then, KD out! XD


	2. Be Klonoa

A young girl wakes up in bed, facing the ceiling. She has no idea what the crap just happened and she was pretty sure she wasn't in bed a moment ago. The young girl sits up and looks around her room. Her eyes widen with every second she takes in her surroundings. Something is obviously wrong with this picture…at least for her.

In any case, today is the 2nd of May, which happens to be this young girl's birthday.

"What?" the aforementioned young girl says flatly. "No it isn't…it's not."

Though it was thirteen years ago she was given life, it is only today she will be given a name.

"That is an effing lie!" the young girl insists. "It is not my birthday!"

What will the name of this young girl be?

**ZOOSMELL POOPLORD.**

The young girl scowls and before she can say anything, the text above her is blurred out and replaced with red text, reading, **TRY AGAIN, SMARTASS.**

The young girl is feeling a sense of déjà vu. For what reasons, hell if she knew because she was still trying to understand what was going on.

**JOHN EGBERT.**

The young girl wears a blank expression on her face. "I refuse to be named John Egbert…"

**JOHN** is promptly crossed out and replaced with a much more acceptable name that is, **KLONOA**. The text now reads, **KLONOA** **EGBERT**. The young girl stares blankly at the texts and sighs in exasperation.

"Good enough…" she forces a smile.

A green checkmark appears next to the name. The young girl has accepted her fate…somewhat. She still has no idea what is going on.

"Is this real?" This young girl would like to know, but her question remains unanswered by the narration. The narration continues on with the advancement of the situation, whatever the crap that is.

…

Your name is KLONOA. As was previously mentioned it is your BIRTHDAY and no matter how hard you try to deny it, it is. You have a variety of INTERESTS. You have an immense passion for VIDEO GAMES and MUSIC. You like to draw but you are NOT VERY GOOD AT IT. It doesn't stop you from trying. You have a fondness for FAN FICTION and you secretly have an obsession for MALE CROSSDRESSERS—or used to. It's not a secret anymore, is it?

Klonoa expresses her disdain towards the text above her with a displeased expression.

"God damn narration…" Klonoa decides to ignore the narration and look around her room. Her room is surprisingly clean…well, cleaner than the usual that doesn't involve stuffing stuff into the closet. There is a lack of unnecessary crap that used to take place in most areas of the room and the structure of the room is quite different than she remembered it before.

Posters are lined up on her wall, displaying some of her aforementioned interests in videogames. To her right in the farthest corner of the room is a simple computer desk occupied by a laptop. Nearby to the right of the desk is a large bookshelf with a neatly organized collection of videogames, music, and books. The familiar sight of wires bunched up in a box next to the bed is rather comforting, as it just so happens to contain her handheld consoles and their chargers. She really needs to organize that mess, but she really can't find the time to do so, ignoring the fact that she actually has an immense amount of time on her hands.

It is at this point that the narration takes over and changes the perspective, for the convenience of progression and the fact Klonoa gets easily distracted. ADHD is no joke to this chick.

You notice that there is a distinct lack of CLOSET in your room and instead, there is a WARDROBE. You wonder what is inside and it is only now that you realize there are a number of CAKES scattered about your room. You mentally berate your tendency to blank out and wonder if you've taken your ADHD medication.

What will you do now?

…

…

**Klonoa: Enter the wardrobe and travel to Narnia.**

You do exactly just that except for one thing…

"There's nothing but fucking clothes in this wardrobe!" You flail your arms around as a shirt covers your head. You really should have thought this out because there is now a mess of clothing on the floor.

**Klonoa: Quickly retrieve arms from MAGIC CHEST.**

You flip off the narration, proving that you do in fact have your ARMS. Seeing as you have your arms, there is no need for you to retrieve them from your MAGIC CHEST. Still, it wouldn't hurt to look through it and your curiosity, it beckons you.

There is a random CAKE on your MAGIC CHEST and you wonder when it got there. You ignore that thought in order to avoid over-thinking things and pick up the CAKE. You then put it on your BED and decide to save the cake for later. It'd be a shame to leave a good CAKE uneaten.

You swipe off a bit of frosting from the CAKE as you make your way back to your MAGIC CHEST. You have a definite feeling this CAKE is a RED VELVET CAKE based off the cream cheese frosting you just finished eating…you are pleased.

**Klonoa: Quickly retrieve arms from MAGIC CHEST.**

Good lord, when did these get in here? You are wondering this as you hold a pair of FAKE ARMS in your hands. You have a slight feeling this is meant to be a joke, but you can't find any humor in it to laugh. That is strange because usually, you'd laugh at just about anything.

You guess your sense of humor has finally decided to mature. That or you just know that now is not the right time to laugh. You assume the latter as you CAPTCHALOGUE them in your SYLLADEX. You have no idea what that actually means though. Or rather, you THINK you might have a slight idea what it actually means. Pretending to know stuff makes you feel smarter!

And then you realize it doesn't and there goes your self-esteem. You decide to move on from this discovery and notice that there are other items in the chest.

**Klonoa: Examine contents of chest.**

You do exactly just that and discover an array of items you suppose are meant to revolve around humorous antics…and then some. The thing that sticks out the most for you is that big ass hard-covered copy of COLONEL SASSACRE'S DAUNTING TEXT OF MAGICAL FRIVOLITY AND PRACTICAL JAPERY. There is a small temptation at the back of your head to pick up the book and read it on your bed, all while eating that cake.

**Klonoa: Resist the urge because LOOK A DISTRACTION.**

You successfully resist the urge because LOOK A DISTRACTION! You just noticed the spectacular view through your window and realized something is wrong. You walk over to your window and look through it to see the view of your yard…from the second floor. You recall your house never having a second-floor, despite your wishes for it to have one because houses with second-floors have stairs. And house with stairs are awesome in your opinion, never mind the fact that it could get tiring going up and down the stairs, but fuck it! It's just awesome!

You notice there is a TIRE SWING hanging from the tree on your yard and you feel the intense urge to run out and swing on that tire swing like a pro. That is to say, that you _think_ you know how a pro would swing on a tire swing.

There is a mailbox beside your driveway. It doesn't look too unusual, just…it's there.

**Klonoa: Examine mailbox.**

Your eyes widen and you smile as you notice the little red arm-swingy-dealy thing or whatever it is called is flipped up! You wonder for a second and recall that it was called a flag…but hell if you cared! The way the flag is flipped means you have mail!

…

Wait, _why_ are you excited over mail?

**WHY AREN'T YOU EXCITED OVER MAIL?! It's **_**MAIL**_**.**

Well, can't argue with that logic! You are about to hurry down stairs when you hear a car pull into the driveway. It looks like your DAD has returned from the grocery store. You lose all motivation involving mail because it is obvious he is going to get the mail before you do. What's the point in getting worked up over it? There is no point.

**Klonoa: Check for online social activity on your laptop.**

You decided to pop open your laptop and check to see if any of your online friends left you a message.

…

Your expression is as blank as the lack of online social activity from your friends. You seriously need a life. You then realize you are not logged in and resist the urge to face palm. You managed to successfully resist the urge.

**Klonoa: Log in.**

You log into PESTERCHUM and almost immediately, the application flashes. Someone is trying to get in touch with you.

**Klonoa: Open Pesterchum.**

Only one of your CHUMS is logged in and she's sent you a message. You wonder what it could be about and your curiosity was always known for getting the best of you.

**Klonoa: Open message.**

It seems normal enough—HOLY CRAP! You are assaulted with a barrage of forest green text.

- panaSule [PS] began pestering klonoaDreams [KD] at 17:02 –

PS: Klonoa!

PS: KLONOA!

PS: Where the hell are you?

PS: Klonoa!

PS: God ducking damnit Klonoa, message me back!

PS: God damnit autocorrect!

KD: What the heck, Pana? What's wrong?

PS: KLONOA! Oh my god, you're there…what happened?

KD: I don't know what you're talking about, Pana.

PS: …check your calendar.

KD: I don't have a—hey! I do, ah…oh my god…

PS: Now you get it?

KD: I HAVE A PERSONA 4 GOLDEN CALENDAR! So fucking sweet~!

PS: Nice—I mean, god damnit Klonoa! Do what I told you to do!

KD: Okay, fine…be right back in a second.

PS: Take your time…

**Klonoa: Examine calendar.**

Your calendar is right next to your window. You've marked your thirteenth birthday, the 2nd of May. You recalled that there was another day you marked on the April page. It was supposed to be the arrival date for the highly touted SBURB BETA LAUNCH. That was supposed to have been last month ago in April, but it was delayed due to unforeseen complications. It's been more than three weeks already. According to a source, the game has finally made its successful as of launch three days ago. This is starting to become a sore subject with you.

…

…

"WAIT A SECOND!" It is finally coming to you. There is something completely wrong with this! The year is still 2013, but the month and day are completely wrong. You know for a fact that it is not your birthday and there is a small internal desire to scream out the panic and confusion plaguing your mind. It is about one thing you know for sure that is extremely wrong and extremely unnerving.

"WHY THE FUCK AM I THIRTEEN?!"

…

…

* * *

A/N End of chapter. Yeah, this is basically the start of all things Homestuck related. And a big heads up, some members of SWACA have ADHD, which includes me. As you already know from _I am Trainer_ (that is if you read it), having ADHD really is no joke. It can actually be quite a hindrance. Take it from me, Klonoa…I am learning how to drive and having ADHD and being on the road…you CANNOT, I repeat, CANNOT be distracted, lest you want to crash the car. I haven't crashed the car yet, but I have been getting distracted at times that it scares my dad as he tells me what to do.

In this case, Klonoa got distracted so easily that she forgot about her situation. Here's another thing about Klonoa: SHE BLANKS OUT EASILY. There was one time where I was playing White 2 and it was a Nuzlocke run. I just blanked out for a moment and SCARED myself. Yeah…just keep that in mind.

Anyways, I hope you're enjoying this because SWACA itself is slowly starting to accept this because it is a thing. It's kinda funny, actually. Only a small group of SWACA is okay with this as everyone is neutral.

Hope everyone is adjusting to perspective changes because there is going to be a lot of that in this story. Next chapter, we'll be changing perspectives again and be focusing on a completely different character…for the sake of keeping consistency.

Review if you wish, but just let me get this out…NO FLAMES. I don't care if you hate the story, but if you review telling me you hate this story, then you better tell me why, otherwise don't bother reviewing at all. I would appreciate constructive criticism, hell, SWACA itself (those who are with SWACAstuck) would like to know what everyone thinks of the story.

Well, that's about it for this chapter! Hope you stick around next time! Till next time, KD out! XD


	3. Be Pana

A young glasses-wearing woman stands in her bedroom. Due to the recent turn of events, this young woman is on the verge of a panic attack. Her link with her internet friend has just been severed by a force of unexplainable means. It was just a typical start of a live stream involving a new game. Her internet friend was to play the game and she was to provide information from an FAQ.

That was the plan, but something went wrong and now this young woman had no idea what to do. There was nothing but silence coming from the other side of the Skype call and the live stream suddenly went offline. If that wasn't enough, her computer monitor was now displaying a loading screen. Whatever it was that was loading, it was loading fast and this young woman didn't like the look of this.

Of all the times it had to happen, it had to be now… "Fucking virus, piss off!"

The young woman scowled as she noticed she lost all use of her mouse and keyboard. The virus is persistent…and it is almost done loading!

"Fuuuuuck!" Five years…five years that computer managed to last her! And she's going to lose it to a virus…how is she going to explain this?! "Shit."

Just when things couldn't possibly get any worse, the supposed virus finished loading and the computer screen flashed brightly.

"JESUS, MY EYES!" The light was so bright, it was blinding— "OH CRAP—"

…

…

A young girl stares wide-eyed at her ceiling from her bed. She sits up in bed and looks around her room. Her eyesight is fuzzy as fuck because for some reason, her glasses were missing. WHY WERE THEY MISSING?!

**Enter Name.**

**FLIGHTY BROAD**

The young girl scowls and flips off the text…or attempts to. She can't really see it, but she knows that **FLIGHTY BROAD** isn't her name.

"Like hell!" she snaps as **FLIGHTY BROAD** is crossed out.

**ROSE LALONDE.**

The young girl makes a face. "Not even close…"

**ROSE** is crossed out and replaced with **PANA**. The text now reads **PANA LALONDE**. There is a moment of silence until the young girl sighs and throws her arms up in the air.

"Close enough." She doesn't care anymore.

A green checkmark appears next to the name. This young girl could give a damn, but she doesn't. All she wants is her glasses and—OH CRAP!

THUD!

…

…

Your name is PANA and you have just fallen off your bed. You have a variety of INTERESTS. You have a passion for EARLY 90's CARTOONS. You love playing VIDEO GAMES, and are especially fond of TACTIC VIDEO GAMES. You enjoy drawing, with ANIME being the main focus of your drawings and then some. You also like to listen to EARLY 2000's MUSIC, because today's music sucks, IN YOUR OPINION.

Pana displays her annoyance towards the narration and her lack of GLASSES. She really can't see anything without them…

**Examine room.**

There is nothing to examine because you can't see without your GLASSES, you flighty broad!

**Give Pana her GLASSES.**

Out of sympathy for Pana's lack of sight, you give Pana her GLASSES. They were on her bookshelf for some reason.

**Examine room with glasses on.**

Pana's eyes widen as she looks around her room. Her room is quite different from when she last saw it. For one thing, there are posters lining her wall displaying some of her interests in video games…well, there are more of them. There is a distinct lack of desktop on the computer desk across from her. Instead, there is a laptop. Her bookshelf is still full of the books and manga she loves, so she's not that concerned.

Her bed is still in front of the window, which is something that is still the same. Though, for some reason, it is raining outside. Though, aside from that, everything _seems_ normal. However, something feels…off.

Pana gets off the floor and has the sudden need to look at her reflection. It's a good thing her dresser came with a mirror.

"Okay, let's see the damage—WHAT THE HELL?!" Pana takes a few steps back before landing flat on her ass. Her heart is pounding hard within her chest and her body just won't stop shaking. "Wh-wha…what…no…no…"

Pana swallows hard and gets off the floor. She uses her dresser as leverage because for some reason, her legs don't want to work. Her eyes are closed and she hesitantly opens them as she looks into the mirror again. Her breath hitches as she slowly reaches out and touches the cool surface of the mirror.

She wants to cry upon confirming that what she sees in the mirror is in fact real. What she sees is her youthful reflection…but it can't be her. There is a problem with her reflection. Her reflection shouldn't be this _youthful_.

PanaSule is twenty-three…or she should be, but somehow, she's not. Instead, she's…well…

"WHY THE FUCK AM I THIRTEEN?!" Pana is freaking the fuck out. She has all rights to do so. Ten years…ten years have been taken off her age. She was no longer an adult. She was thirteen, the basic epitome of adolescence and the typical starting point of puberty.

Pana continues to flip the fuck out for the next ten minutes. At this point, the narration takes over for the convenience of progression. Pana has wasted enough time for one sitting.

You are done freaking out. You have accepted your fate, but that does not mean you like it.

What will you do now?

…

…

**Pana: Remember.**

"Remember what—OH CRAP, KLONOA!" You immediately rush to your laptop and log into your Pesterchum. You rarely use your Pesterchum, but for some reason, your laptop is lacking Skype and you're not wasting any time downloading the damn program. You're just glad you already made a Pesterchum account beforehand. Klonoa is usually logged into her Pesterchum, except…

She's not right now.

"Oh goddamn it!" Of all the days she's not online, it had to be the time you actually logged into your account! No, you are not accepting this! You are _not_ giving up! Weird crap is happening and you need to tell Klonoa about this!

**Pana: Pester your Chum!**

You are doing exactly just that! You hope she answers quickly. You want her to answer back! You want to know she is okay in some sense—wait, what the hell?!

**Pana: Examine laptop's date and time.**

"May 2nd…?" You are confused. The year is still 2013, but the month and day… You know there is something wrong with that! It should not be Klonoa's birthday! She turned eighteen two months ago! It was a day worth commemorating because your friend became a legal adult and—Hold on…

**Pana: Come to a realization.**

Thoughts centered on your sudden ten-year downgrade from an adult to an adolescent flooded your head. If it happened to you, what are the chances it happened to Klonoa?

…

…

**Pana: PESTER THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR CHUM.**

- panaSule [PS] began pestering klonoaDreams [KD] at 20:02 -

PS: Klonoa!

PS: KLONOA!

PS: Where the hell are you?

PS: Klonoa!

PS: God ducking damnit Klonoa, message me back!

PS: God damnit autocorrect!

For some reason, your computer is autocorrecting your "Fucks" into "ducks". You find this annoying because now all your strongly worded messages are probably going to look harmless and adorable. You hope that isn't the case…

You nearly jumped upon hearing the Pesterchum notification. Dear god, that was loud…

**Pana: Check the message.**

Oh, right!

You check the message and find yourself smiling as you are greeted by the sight of sky blue text.

KD: What the heck, Pana? What's wrong?

PS: KLONOA! Oh my god, you're there…what happened?

KD: I don't know what you're talking about, Pana.

SLAP!

That was the sound of your palm as it came into contact with your face. You had almost forgotten whom you were talking to, and you really should have seen this coming. Why is it so hard to remember that?!

PS: …check your calendar.

KD: I don't have a—hey! I do, ah…oh my god…

PS: Now you get it?

KD: I HAVE A PERSONA 4 GOLDEN CALENDAR! So fucking sweet~!

**FACEPALM x2 COMBO!**

PS: Nice—I mean, god damnit Klonoa! Do what I told you to do!

KD: Okay, fine…be right back in a second.

PS: Take your time…

You're rather happy to know Klonoa is still the same. Though, your face seems to say otherwise due to the recent subjection of a FACEPALM x2 COMBO. Klonoa somehow always manages to reestablish your maturity…or downgrade it to immaturity. It really depends.

In any case, you're just relieved to still be in contact with Klonoa. Now you wait patiently for her to respond and knowing her, it is probably going to take a while.

What will you do to pass the time?

…

…

**Pana: Do the Macarena.**

You brilliantly pull off the dance without the use of music because who needs music when you have your imagination!

When you are done, you smile and say, "Macarena!"

Somewhere on the other side of the globe, you know a certain someone is laughing…maybe.

…

…

* * *

A/N End of chapter. Well, I got another one up, but it's not like anyone seems to care, but whatever! In today's chapter, PanaSule is introduced! She is one of the older members in SWACA and my usual co-commentator on my streams. She is whom I depend on when I need an FAQ and company. To make this short, she is awesome. And like Roni, she is also on fanfiction.

Anyways, I am on a roll with these chapters! Hope you guys enjoyed it! Feedback is very much appreciated, just NO FLAMES! Well, that's it for this chapter! Hope you guys stick around!

See ya next chapter! KD out! XD


	4. Klonoa: Accept

**Be Klonoa.**

You are now Klonoa. (Again.)

**Klonoa: Flip the fuck out.**

You are already doing that, pooplord! Do something else!

**Klonoa: Talk to your chum.**

Oh crap, you almost forgot about that!

"PANA!" You dash to your laptop and furiously start messaging your friend back.

* * *

KD: Oh god oh god oh god oh god, I'm thirteen, Pana, I'm thirteen! WHY AM I THIRTEEN?!

PS: I don't know! I just…Oh god, that's ten years for me…

KD: IT HAPPENED TO YOU TOO?! FUCK! Pana…

PS: Yes?

KD: I'm scared.

PS: Me too…

KD: How did this happen?!

PS: Okay, let's recap…it all started when you started streaming right?

KD: Yeah—oh fuck, don't tell me…

PS: What happened?

KD: Did anything happen to you before "THIS" happened?

PS: Well, after you suddenly disappeared and scared the crap out of me, a virus decided to load itself onto my computer.

KD: What.

PS: It was loading really quickly and I was really pissed off because I had that computer for five years.

KD: How did it…how did it look?

PS: Well, my screen got a little trippy.

KD: Was it green?

PS: Actually, now that I think of it…yeah, it was green. It also had something on it that kept changing. It was kinda pretty…of course, I was too pissed off at the time to enjoy it because ducking virus!

KD: Oh god…

PS: What?

KD: I think my game downloaded itself onto your computer.

PS: God damnit, Klonoa, you gave me a virus!

KD: I didn't mean to! It's just—we're getting off topic! Listen…we're no longer adults, correct?

PS: Correct.

KD: We also have been followed by some weird narration, correct?

PS: Wait, so that wasn't just me? I mean, correct.

KD: Okay…and just to make sure, before we woke up like…this, there was this bright light from our screens, right?

PS: Correct…are we getting somewhere anytime soon?

KD: I think we just got picked to play a game. I heard the narration mention…shit.

PS: Klonoa?

KD: We have to play Sburb Beta.

PS: What the duck is that?

PS: God ducking damnit autocorrect!

KD: It's this game and…oh god, we're getting ourselves into some deep shit, here.

PS: So let's not play the game.

KD: Pana! We have no choice if we want to live! The world is coming to an end!

PS: The world seems okay to me. It's raining outside, but that's it.

KD: No, you don't get it. There are other people playing this game and triggering the end of the world. Soon, we're going to get caught up and when that happens, we need to get our asses moving so we can avoid dying.

PS: I don't want to die.

KD: Neither do I and now if you'll excuse me, I have to go confront my dad for the mail. I'm assuming he has it, but just to be safe, I should still go check the mailbox…

PS: This seems oddly familiar—we got sucked into Homestuck, didn't we?

KD: Well, considering I was planning on playing Homestuck Beta with you as my FAQ guide, I think that makes the most sense out of this fucked up scenario.

PS: Well, good luck with your mail. I'll just…try to see if I have a copy of the game lying around in my room.

KD: We pester the fuck out of each other the second we grab our game, deal?

PS: Deal.

KD: Okay, later!

PS: Later!

- panaSule [PS] ceased pestering klonoaDreams [KD] at 17:13 –

* * *

…

…

**Klonoa: Examine contents of chest again.**

You really should go check the mailbox, but you might as well see what else you have in your MAGIC CHEST since why not?

"Why the hell is this doing in here?" You stare blankly at the HAMMER and NAILS in your chest.

**Klonoa: Acquire hammer and nails. They will come in handy.**

"For what?" You ask as you put the HAMMER and NAILS into your SYLLADEX. Since talking to your friend, you actually have an idea of what a Sylladex is and how it works. Speaking of which, what is your FETCH MODUS?

**Klonoa: Examine Fetch Modus.**

You make a face as you discover your usage of the STACK FETCH MODUS. Well, this is definitely going to get inconvenient somewhere along the way. You need to figure out a way to change your FETCH MODUS. For now, what else will you do?

**Klonoa: Captchalogue smoke pellets.**

You stow the SMOKE PELLETS on the last of your empty CAPTCHALOGUE CARDS in your SYLLADEX. You hate the fact you only have four cards in your possession, but that might change.

"Hopefully…" You really need to figure out how to work this damn thing. Like fast…

**Klonoa: Examine note on drawer.**

You briefly wonder why you have a DRAWER when you have—OH SHIT!

THUD!

You have just fallen flat on your ass in shock caused by coming in direct eye-contact with Kyubey…or rather, a zoomed in picture of his face that was framed and propped on top of the drawer. Those eyes…they stare into your soul and you find that extremely relevant and ironic. How you adore PUELLA MAGI MADOKA MAGICA, despite the fact you have only recently finished watching the anime. Took you about a year to get past episode one when there are only twelve episodes. It was a challenge and your heart has most likely been strengthened by it. You hope because a lot of stuff happened in twelve episodes.

Still, since finishing the show, Kyubey has now become part of some of the faces you would only see in the darkest corners of your nightmare. You need to get rid of that picture, but how?

**Klonoa: Focus on examining note on drawer.**

You decided to get rid of Kyubey's picture later since you have to examine that note.

_HAPPY BIRTHDAY SON._

_I AM SO PROUD OF YOU._

This note is rich with the aromas of FATHERLY AFTERSHAVES AND COLOGNES. You'd find this note heartwarming, except for one thing that you just noticed.

_HAPPY BIRTHDAY SON._

_**SON**__._

You had a feeling that picking to play as a male character in HOMESTUCK BETA would come back to bite you in the ass.

**Klonoa: Flip note.**

Out of curiosity, you flip the note over and notice there was another message on the back.

_HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAUGHTER._

_I AM SO PROUD OF YOU._

Well, it seems that your decision really didn't have that much of an effect on you after all. Or maybe your decision is still fixing itself as it did with your name and you still have some time to go before you are fully recognized as female. Whatever it is, it's just pronouns and gender-specific words. It's not as if you're referring to yourself as male like how you usually do unintentionally when you speak Spanish because apparently, words are masculine or feminine in that language. That was day one of Spanish I.

**Klonoa: Stop reminiscing nonexistent high school memories.**

But it's SO hard not to!

**Klonoa: Take poster.**

Beside the note is a ROLLED UP POSTER. You almost place the poster in your SYLLADEX, but all of your CAPTCHALOGUE CARDS are full. You have a vague idea what will happen if you try to take the poster. You briefly wonder if you should take it.

**Klonoa: Be smarter than that.**

You MERGE two of your cards. The HAMMER and NAILS are now captchalogued on the same card and can be used together. You have most likely avoided the start of a possible running gag.

**Klonoa: Take poster.**

You take the poster without any problems. You wonder what exactly is printed on the poster. You hope it could only be good stuff.

**Klonoa: Use hammer/nails on poster.**

You use the HAMMER and NAILS card IN CONJUNCTION with the card beneath it. Afterwards, you look around for a good location in need of a poster. You decide your door is the perfect place for this poster. It's practically naked, save for the SBURB BETA poster you managed to tape on your door. Your door needs more love, like your walls.

**Klonoa: Nail poster to door.**

You use the HAMMER, NAILS, and POSTER on the blank space on the door. It's just above the SBURB BETA poster. Thanks to your SYLLADEX/CAPTCHALOGUE or whatever, you were able to nail your poster onto the door without the need of a chair or a stool. You weren't exactly tall to begin before this whole scenario and you knew that for a fact. However, you are completely aware of the distinct change in perspective due to height because as of now, you are even shorter than you were before.

God you hate your life.

**Klonoa: Admire Kingdom Hearts poster.**

_There are many worlds__  
but they share the same sky__  
one sky one destiny._

It's such a nostalgic quote from a game that fuels your nostalgia. You are quite pleased to see it taking residence on your door in the form of a poster. It's a Disney and Final Fantasy crossover game…what's not to love? Okay, sure the plot is difficult to understand, especially with the recent addition to the series, but you'll be damned if you let it get in the way of your love for this game. It introduced you to other games and fueled your love for adventure.

Adventure fascinates you.

**Klonoa: Examine Klonoa poster.**

This poster is just above your bed, which you find fitting because of dreams. Klonoa of the Wind is a Dream Traveler who is fated to travel to various places where the state of dreams is in danger. Despite his appearance, he is not a rabbit. He is just an anthropomorphic cat with long ears.

This game embodies your nostalgia as it was the first game you ever played. It looks childish and sometimes it is childish, but there is so much more to this game.

**Klonoa: Stop getting distracted.**

You really need to stay focused. This is really getting out of hand. You have important things to do at this moment! Especially now that you realized your chum has just started pestering the fuck out of you. She must have found her copy already while you were screwing around. This must be a sign…a sign that you _really_ need to get your ass moving.

**Klonoa: Leave the room.**

You exit into the HALLWAY. You don't pay much attention to the pictures on the walls. You don't have time to admire random shit! You are on a time limit, for god's sake! You are aware that this was not the case for you five minutes ago, but that was five minutes ago! You're paying attention now…at least, you hope.

**Klonoa: Go downstairs.**

You were warned about stairs, so you carefully make your way downstairs.

"SHIT!"

Or you tried to since you can't seem to do anything right without screwing up. You didn't even take more than a step before your untied shoelaces caused you to trip and fall all the way down this flight of stairs. You find this extremely ironic because you never trip on your untied shoelaces…ever. Well, you guess there's a first for everything, but you really wish it didn't involve falling down a flight of stairs…

Never before has your language been this extremely colorful as you made your way down. You made a lot of noise, but you were especially loud when you landed gracefully on your ass at the bottom of the stairs.

"Ow…" You body ached all over and you're pretty sure you gained a few bruises. You're still alive and not too seriously hurt. It could have been worse. You're pretty sure your DAD heard that, but screw it. You have shoelaces to tie because you don't want dirty shoelaces. They're clean, white, and you're pretty sure they're brand new or at least they look it. You take a moment to admire the blue shoes you are wearing. You like the color blue. You just do.

The rich, buttery aroma of fresh baking catches you attention. Your stomach growls in response, but you ignore it. As much as you love baked goods, you learned the hard way that too much of an unhealthy good thing will earn you a mandatory trip to the doctor's and nasty-tasting medicine. It will also earn you a terrible stomachache enough to keep you up all night.

You shudder at the memory.

The living room is just as boring as ever. For some reason, there is a huge present in the center of the room. You want to open it, but you feel like doing that after you let your short-attention-span-driven self wander over to look at your DAD's collection of HARLEQUINS. They are all neatly organized on a shelf near the fireplace.

**Klonoa: Admire harlequins.**

You check out a shelf full of FANCIFUL HARLEQUINS. You never did get why your DAD thought the living room was the best place to put his collection of harlequins on display. If anything, his room would be the best place to do that. You don't really give a damn about these things, but you don't hate them. You find some of them cool and some of them a tad bit creepy…

You decide to move away from these FANCIFUL HARLEQUINS.

**Klonoa: Fondly regard cremation.**

A SACRED URN containing your departed POPPOP's ASHES resides at the top of the fireplace. You catch your father giving POPPOP's portrait a wistful glance every now and then. You can tell it brings back painful memories. A tall bookshelf. A ladder. An unabridged COLONEL SASSACRE'S.

He never wants to talk about it. You really wish he did so he could at least get some closure.

**Klonoa: Topple urn.**

You clumsily mishandle the SACRED URN…like a dumbass. Ash is everywhere and it's your damn fault. You really weren't thinking when you did that. You just fucking disrespected your POPPOP. You should be ashamed.

You are very ashamed and you should probably clean this up before DAD finds it.

**Klonoa: Examine oversized gift.**

Oh boy! You could only wonder what this particularly oversized package could contain. You have ignored it long enough, so it's time to see what's inside—right after reading this tag.

_CHAMP._

_YOU CAN DO_

_ANYTHING IF YOU PUT_

_YOUR MIND TO IT._

_I BELIEVE IN YOU._

DAD always knew how to make you feel like the most important person in the world. Now you really want to see what is inside this package. You're excited, but at the same time, a little nervous.

**Klonoa: Open large present.**

All excitement diminishes as you find yourself staring at a large HARLEQUIN DOLL. Oh hell no.

You are fucking done with this shit. This is the sort of crap that gives you nightmares. Just look at the face on that doll. It's creepy.

**Klonoa: Captchalogue ashes and combine with urn.**

You might as well clean up after yourself. You avoid the doll like the plague as you captchalogue the ASHES to an available card. Afterwards, you merge the SACRED URN with the ASHES. Most of the ASH is inside the URN, but it's a total mess. In hindsight, you should have just used a broom and dustpan. It would have been tidier that way, but that sort of thing requires thinking. You should consider thinking things through before doing it.

**Klonoa: Put urn back.**

The perfect crime. Now to fucking scram.

**Klonoa: Find dad and retrieve mail.**

Door #1 leads to the KITCHEN. Door #2 leads to the STUDY. Your DAD could be in either room. Now where will you go?

**Klonoa: Go in the study.**

He is not in here right now. Well, since you here, you decided to do some snooping around. Maybe you could find something useful in here. If not that, then you could always mess around with the piano because you really have the urge to do something relatively musical…and singing is out of the question. You only do that when you're home alone.

Time to see if there's anything useful in this room—wow, your DAD really needs to clean up his desk. Seriously, it reminds you of your fucking room…at least, before DAD gets to it and cleans it up. You nearly have a heart attack every time that happens because you can't find anything after that. Luckily, he doesn't throw any of your shit away, so it sort of works out…sort of.

**Klonoa: Examine father's desk.**

Anyways, you managed to actually find something rather useful in the form of a stray CAPTCHALOGUE CARD. This will be perfect for expanding the space in your SYLLA…

**Klonoa: Captchalogue-ception.**

"D'OH!" You make a face as the CAPTCHALOGUE CARD takes up the last remaining empty card in your SYLLADEX. Brilliant, now your SYLLADEX is full. What will you do now?

**Klonoa: Play a haunting piano refrain.**

This doesn't help with your scenario, but it certainly brightens up your mood and you have fulfilled the desire to make your life more musical…for now. Now stop messing around and do something actually productive.

**Klonoa: Attempt to leave house.**

You go back into the LIVING ROOM and consider checking the mailbox outside. Wasn't this your original plan? You really need to stop getting sidetracked. It's almost as if you're doing this on purpose. Maybe you are, who knows?

**Klonoa: Exit.**

You exit the house and your nostrils are immediately overwhelmed by the distinct scent of roses. Dear god, there are a lot of roses outlining the area around your house. You blame it all on your father's love for roses. You like them, too, but sometimes the smell gets to you—wait a second, you can smell? Holy crap, for once, you can smell something because your allergies haven't acted up yet! It's a miracle…now if only you can see clearly.

Your eyes are trying to adjust to the bright sunlight. This is what happens when you stay in your room for long periods of time. Sunlight becomes your enemy as a result. You're just glad the weather is nice for once and that none of your neighbors have mowed their lawns yet. You're not really sure, but you think the scent of freshly cut grass triggers your allergies or at least accompanies whatever is the actual trigger.

It's nothing too serious, just a sneezing fit here and there with the usual itchy and stuffy nose and watery, red eyes. God, you hate your allergies.

You hate it _almost_ as much as your asthma. At least your allergies don't require an emergency inhaler in the event a scenario calls for its use. Speaking of your emergency inhaler, you make a mental note to look for it, just in case. You never seem to have it on hand when you have a coughing fit that comes literally out of nowhere. Of course, that usually occurs once in a blue moon and you have always had the luck of recovering from your coughing fits. Sure, breathing became a bit difficult at times, but you usually recovered before it got worse. Though, after all that's happened to you today, you're not taking any chances.

Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. Such is the adage that is Murphy's Law.

**Klonoa: Check mail.**

You find yourself looking into a very empty-looking mailbox. Predictably, your DAD has beaten you to the mail. You should have just gone into the KITCHEN. Everything you have done so far has only proven to be a waste of your time.

**Klonoa: Breathe.**

You find yourself alone. For once, you are able to think clearly. It is quite a welcoming feeling. The streets are empty. You can hear the wind as it skims the voids keeping neighbors apart. It's almost calming.

It is your thirteenth birthday due to a sudden turn of unexplainable events. It scares you with how easily you managed to adjust with your current scenario. It's almost as if your life has been re-written from the moment you first woke up in your bed. Your mind is slowly being melded to fit into the reality of this scenario. You have memories you know for a fact are fake, but at the same time, they are very much real.

You have come to a conclusion that it is the first step in being integrated into this game. Pana is most likely going through the same situation. You hope that she is doing well. The only thing keeping you from panicking is your memories. You still have the memories you know belong to you and only you.

You still have your doubts, and you know there are more things to come. You decide to make it easier for yourself and accept the reality you have been pulled into. You look up at the sky and take in the sight of an unfamiliar sky and an unfamiliar sun. You take a deep breath and exhale.

You have a feeling it's going to be a long day.

…

…

* * *

A/N End of chapter. Things just suddenly got deep, didn't it? Yeah, you gotta realize that this is stuff that can potentially traumatize you. Starting from this point on, things are going to kick into place. It's gonna happen.

I'm pleased with the progress of this story. Hope you readers enjoy reading this. It is just for fun. But just because it was made for fun doesn't necessarily mean I'll refrain from being serious. So that's about it for now. Feel free to leave a review. SWACA would love to hear some feedback, just NO FLAMES.

Until next time readers, KD out! XD


	5. Klonoa: Press ENTER

**Klonoa: See if your father left the mail in the car.**

You walk up to the car and peer in through the driver's side window. You don't see any mail inside, but you do see a PINK PACKAGE and upon closer inspection, you see a slip of paper underneath it. You check to see if the door is open, but alas, it's locked and your DAD has the keys. Usually, your DAD forgets to lock the car and takes everything with him, but it seems one of those days happened where he locks the car, but forgets something inside. Usually, it's on days where it's YOUR stuff he forgets inside the car.

**Klonoa: Marvel the irony.**

Yes, it is rather ironic that it always involves you and not someone else. You have learned to live with it, otherwise you wouldn't have made it far in live and you'd still be stuck at the bottom of the stairs, lamenting your bad luck. You have a vague feeling that today wasn't the first time you fell down the stairs.

**Klonoa: Recall "fond" memories.**

Upon reminiscing "fond" memories, you manage to confirm that today wasn't the first time you have fallen down the stairs. It turns out it has become one of the NUMEROUS times you have fallen down the stairs. It just keeps happening.

You really feel like this was meant for someone else and you just don't know why. Welp, time to spy through the kitchen window and see if there's anything worth going in there for, otherwise, you're not going to bother. DAD might want you to help out and you really don't feel like washing any dishes.

**Klonoa: Observe.**

Well, crap, you can barely see anything through this window. The window has steamed up because your DAD has been doing so much baking. You didn't think it was possible. Luckily, you could still see what's on the table just beside the window and there's the mail! Included among it is a PURPLE PACKAGE, some BILLS, your DAD'S PDA, and an envelope…THAT HAS THE SBURB LOGO.

You immediately try to lift the window, but alas, it's locked. You place your hand on the glass and lament your bad luck.

"So close…" If only you had the ability to phase through objects, like that one character in X-Men… Of course, you're only human and not a mutant, so it sucks to be you. You are out of all possible options now. There's only one thing left to do and you have no other choice…

Klonoa: Go back into the kitchen.

Okay, it seems you DO have another choice. You immediately drop the rock in your hand because, now that you think about it, breaking a window would piss off your DAD. Plus, it would give him a reason to sit down with you and ask you questions, just to see if he's raising you correctly without any problems on your behalf. You have such a cool DAD and it's not that you don't mind his fatherly gestures of affection, but at the moment, you have a mission and that mission involves SBURB.

You are going in.

**Klonoa: Enter.**

You hope your DAD is too busy baking to notice your presence and—oh shit, you've been spotted. It seems your DAD has just made you another cake, but you don't care for that because he now stands between you and the mail. With an ARTIFACT OF CONFECTION in his hands and his attention on you, your father has proven to be a worthy adversary.

There is only one way to settle this.

**STRIFE!**

Your DAD lights the birthday candles on the cake as you pull out your recently-useful hammer from your Sylladex. Now you are armed and have an empty slot in your Captchalogue Deck. You AGGRIEVE, but your father dodges your hammer and tries to ABJURE, but you aren't having any of his coddling, even if it is just cake that he's offering you. You are not in the mood. This STRIFE gets you nowhere and only proves to be a waste of your time after a couple of minutes of repeating the same actions.

You need to do something quick.

**Klonoa: Retrieve the package and flee to your room!**

Well, what a brilliant idea you've been suggested! You would have never thought of that on your own and you honestly would go for it, except for one thing…

You cannot ABSCOND! Your father is blocking your path. You need to create a distraction and now he's holding another ARTIFACT OF CONFECTION. Fuck, it's a pie! You know exactly what pies are used for when your father is in possession of one! This man is ruthless!

SPLAT!

Due to your lack of defense, your face takes the brunt of the treat and ooh, peach!

**Klonoa: FOCUS.**

Right! You captchalogue the pie tin and while you're at it, you also unequip your hammer. Your Captchalogue Deck is full by the time you captchalogue your hammer. As a result, everything in your Sylladex is pushed back a card and your FAKE ARMS are ejected from the deck. This is the first time something has been ejected from your Sylladex and you have a very strong feeling it isn't going to be the last. This feeling is only confirmed as you captchalogue the FAKE ARMS and your SMOKE PELLETS are promptly ejected from the deck. It is probably best you get used to this and figure out how to work with it, like now.

Now that your SMOKE PELLETS are out, they should be activating just about now—okay, nothing is happening. You resist the urge to face palm because you recall that the smoke pellets required pressure to activate! You were better off making a smoke bomb out of sugar like in that one videogame that has been recently released. You adore The Last of Us so much…

**Klonoa: Stop spacing out!**

You can't help it and dammit, you forgot to captchalogue COLONEL SASSACRE'S DAUNTING TEXT OF MAGICAL FRIVOLITY AND PRACTICAL JAPERY! Now that beautiful bastard can't save your ass! The next thing your Sylladex is going to eject from the deck the second you captchalogue another item is that CAPTCHALOGUE-CEPTION mess you've created in your DAD's study.

While it could possibly give you another open slot in your deck, it won't help you ABSCOND because dammit, you need those smoke pellets! You guess this is what you get for trying something new in order to save time.

**Klonoa: Regret nothing.**

You regret nothing as you stomp on the smoke pellets. Smoke fills the room and your nearly flinch upon hearing the smoke detector go off. Oh god, that's loud!

You still regret nothing as now your DAD is busy placating the smoke detector with a broom. You can safely sneak away! But first, you need to collect some items you believe belong to you…plus one item that doesn't belong to you.

**Klonoa: Take PDA.**

You snag your DAD'S PDA with thoughts focused on getting back at him for throwing a pie at your face. You are still covered in pie and you should probably fix that. On a different note, the PDA forced the CAPTCHALOGUE-CEPTION mess out of your Sylladex, where it is subsequently integrated into your deck. You are now the proud owner of five cards. Your life has been made more convenient.

**Klonoa: Take package.**

The PURPLE PACKAGE is addressed to you, so you take it. While you were at it, you also take the envelope!

You got the SBURB BETA!

Due to your full Captchalogue Deck, the pie tin was ejected from your Sylladex, but you don't give a damn! You got what you came here for and now it's time to fucking scram!

**Klonoa: Exit kitchen.**

You exit the kitchen and enter the living room. You practically hiss at the creepy-ass HARLEQUIN DOLL on the floor. It's just there…and why the fuck is there a cake on the couch?

?

You stare at the cake and then the creepy-ass doll. An idea pops up in your head and you manage to force yourself near the doll to pick it up and set it on the couch. Dear god, it's not that heavy, but fuck, it's freaking bigger than you are! Whatever, it's now on the couch.

You take out your hammer and set it down on the floor. You then take out your FAKE ARMS and stick them into the cake. You make sure they are covered completely in frosting before sticking them onto the doll. Now you can't take this fucking creepy-ass doll seriously! A job well done in making something creepy look so damn hilarious, you should give yourself a pat on the back.

You Captchalogue your hammer again instead and smile at your good luck. You have an empty space in your Sylladex. It's not much, but you've at least got rid of the FAKE ARMS that were just a waste of space in your Sylladex.

**Klonoa: Swipe some frosting off that cake.**

Well, it is tempting and you guess you'll try it—oh goddammit. You accidentally captchalogued the cake, so there goes your only remaining free card.

"Fuck my life…" You need to figure out a way to get that damn cake out of your Sylladex. This is where your Fetch Modus is proving to be an inconvenience to your life. Damn you stack Fetch Modus!

You shake your fist in an angry "Get off my lawn/those crazy kids" manner at your Sylladex. You only manage to make a fool out of yourself.

**Klonoa: Go to your room.**

You were just about to do that and before you start making your way upstairs, you check to see if your shoelaces are TIED this time. They are tied this time, so you won't be tripping on them anytime soon and falling down the stairs again…you hope.

**Klonoa: Successfully avoid falling down the stairs again.**

"Success!" you exclaim as you enter your room.

Pana is still pestering you, but you'll get to her in a bit. Right now, you need to get some stuff out of your Sylladex—oh, well hello, Sassacre, you useless bastard. You seem rather comfy on the floor.

…

You should probably stop your use of personification/potential apostrophe. You're only making yourself look crazy by referring to a book as if it was an actual person, specifically, the author, who is most obviously not present. Well, what should you do?

**Klonoa: Captchalogue Colonel's big book.**

Your Sylladex has proven its convenience, despite its stupid Fetch Modus due to the fact that you could never really carry around this hard-covered monstrosity without straining yourself. Of course, since you weren't really thinking at the time and were mostly focusing on how fucking heavy that hard-covered monstrosity is when you captchalogued it, you remember at the last second that you had a full Sylladex.

Your DAD'S PDA is expelled from your Sylladex like a bullet.

CRASH!

There goes your window. You grimace at the unpleasant sight of your broken window and the shards of glass on the floor. Great, look at this mess. You just had your room cleaned—whatever, you'll worry about this later and, oh god dammit.

You resist the urge to face palm as you look out the broken window. There's your DAD'S PDA on the front lawn…you only hope it survived the fall. Considering that it landed on the grass and not the concrete sidewalk, it most likely survived. You'll get to it later as well.

**Klonoa: Open up that package!**

You set the package on your bed and make a face as you don't have anything to open it. You can try using one of the shards of glass on the floor, but you don't want to accidentally cut yourself. Knowing your luck, you might end up cutting yourself eventually, so you count yourself lucky as you have a box of band-aids in your drawer—OH THAT'S WHY YOU HAVE IT!

You run to your drawer and open it, making sure to avoid eye-contact with Kyubey. You chuckle as you find an array of items in your drawer. You have scissors, glue sticks, pencils, a sketchbook, erasers, a first-aid kit, and a box cutter. Before anything, you check the first-aid kit and sigh in relief as you find your emergency inhaler.

You should probably save this first-aid kit and—oh god dammit, you really need to stop accidentally captchaloging items you pick up and—

"Ow!" A purple package hits your head as it is ejected from your Sylladex. It then lands on the floor. You don't really stop to think when you decide to pick up the package as your head is hurting and you are slightly pissed off.

You nearly let out a cluster of swears as the SBURB BETA is launched out of your Sylladex and hits the wall. You calm yourself down before you do anything else without thinking. Again, you really need to start thinking things through.

**Klonoa: Check Sylladex.**

Okay, you're kinda nervous since the next thing that will get launched if you pick up another item is your hammer. You need to do something quick! Wait, can't you like, do something with that hammer to free up a card for you?

Wait a second, now that you think about it…you checked your Fetch Modus, but you forgot about something else.

**Klonoa: What did you forget?**

You forgot to check your Strife Specibus! You check the back of your Strife Specibus and find that you haven't allocated a Kind Abstratus yet. Well, you guess you'll have to fix that!

You need to arm yourself in case you need to defend yourself. While it seems pointless and the chances of you needing something to attack are practically never, you see through the irony of this as you turn your attention to the fallen envelope containing the SBURB BETA. You narrow your eyes at it.

You are not going to let it make you its bitch.

**Klonoa: Prepare to allocate Kind Abstratus.**

You should think things through, since your choice determines what exactly the permanent allocation for your specibus is. You take a gander at the list of possible choices. There are a lot of choices, some useful, some stupid, and some…that are completely confusing. Boxkind? What the fuck is that? Are you like using a box to attack or what? How does that one even work?

Whoever has a box as their Kind Abstratus is stupid…or extremely creative, now that you think of it. You consider the possible uses of a box as a weapon, but nothing comes up at the moment, so you forget about it. You go back to looking through the list.

You come across hammerkind and recall the hammer in your Captchalogue Deck. You were meaning to get rid of it to free open a card…

"Why not?" You shrug.

**Klonoa: Allocate hammer to strife specibus.**

You select "HAMMER" and your strife specibus has been allocated with the HAMMERKIND ABSTRATUS. The hammer has been moved from your Captchalogue Deck to your Strife Deck. It's not a bad pick, you think initially, until you notice a few kind Abstrata that suddenly seem more appeasing than a hammer. Scissorkind—you have a pair of scissors around and—marblekind? Wait, MARTIALARTSKIND?! You have a freaking blue belt in Tae Kwon Do! You should have gone with that instead of that damn hammer—or at least the scissors would have been a better choice!

**Klonoa: Regret nothing.**

You regret EVERYTHING as you use both of your hands to flip off the text. You're stuck with the hammer, now and…ugh. At least with the scissors, you could have broken it apart so you have two sharp blades to work with.

**Klonoa: Take advantage of your currently free card.**

You might as well get the box cutter so you can open the package. You are back to having a full Captchalogue Deck yet again. Of course, you can start working things through, one at a time.

Let's start it off with the cake.

**Klonoa: Begin.**

You set the cake on your bed. You now have two cakes on your bed, but you can care less and oh crap, the next item in your deck is Sassacre's hard-covered monstrosity. You need to be very careful.

**Klonoa: Take on Colonel's Big Book.**

Your body is prepared and—OH GOD YOU CAN'T HOLD IT!

THUD.

You stay still as you SWEAR you felt the room shake when you dropped that book. It almost landed on your foot, but it didn't, so you avoided one injury. That book could probably kill a cat if you dropped it, so dropping it on your foot…yeah, you rather not think too much about it.

**Klonoa: Continue freeing your Sylladex.**

You empty out your deck, one item at a time without any trouble this time. The first-aid kit is on your bed, as are the package and box cutter. You almost open the package, but you decide to do something else.

**Klonoa: Install the Sburb beta.**

You should have done this in the first place. You have no one to blame but yourself for your lack of thinking. After picking up the Beta, you make your way back to your laptop and realize your friend is still pestering you.  
Fuck, you cannot believe you left her hanging for this long…

**Klonoa: Lament your shortcomings as a friend, you worthless piece of shit.**

Whoa there, you're not going that far! You ignore the text and answer your chum—GOOD GOD LOOK AT ALL THAT GREEN TEXT!

* * *

- panaSule [PS] began pestering klonoaDreams [KD] at 17:20 -

PS: Klonoa, I found an envelope with a green-colored logo, is this what I'm supposed to be looking for?

PS: Klonoa?

PS: Are you there?

PS: Klonoa!

PS: Klonoa, don't you dare go idle on me!

PS: God damnit, Klonoa!

PS: I

PS: hate

PS: this

PS: so

PS: much.

PS: Duck this pestering the duck out of each other!

PS: Ducking damnit, autocorrect!

- panaSule [PS] is no longer connected! –

PS: My internet went out, sorry about that.

PS: Damnit, you're still idle!

PS: It's been fifteen minutes already!

PS: What are you doing?

PS: Answer me!

PS: Oh duck, Klonoa, we're not the only ones in this mess.

PS: I really hate this autocorrect.

PS: Anyways, we're not alone!

PS: You'll see what I mean when the message gets through.

PS: Uh…

PS: You're still not answering…

PS: Crap, I think she fell asleep…

PS: KLONOA!

PS: This is getting annoying…

KD: What's going on?

PS: KLONOA!

PS: Where have you been?!

PS: You've been idle for nearly half an hour!

PS: The duck?!

KD: Uh…

KD: Err…

KD: I had a problem with my Sylladex.

PS: What the duck is a Sylladex?

KD: I'm guessing you haven't captchalogued anything yet.

PS: Hold on, I found a manual next to my laptop.

PS: Russian Roulette Fetch Modus?

KD: You'll figure it out and you're lucky. I have stack and it's fucking annoying.

PS: How?

KD: I can only take out the item at the front of my Captchalogue deck and just, uurgh…

KD: I keep accidentally captchaloging items and when my Sylladex gets full, it ejects stuff.

KD: My dad's PDA got launched out of the window because of it!

KD: Now my window's broken, there's glass everywhere, and my dad's PDA is on the front lawn.

PS: Ouch…okay, I read a bit and I think I get what a Sylladex is. It's an inventory.

KD: Basically.

PS: And the Fetch Modus is basically affects how you take stuff out…

KD: Yup.

PS: So I have to play Russian Roulette with my inventory to get an item out.

PS: I got six empty cards.

PS: Something tells me this is going to get annoying.

KD: You'll live…by the way, I also fell down the stairs.

PS: Oh crap, are you okay?

KD: Yeah, I am.

PS: That's good…did you get her message?

KD: Huh?

PS: Look at your task bar.

KD: Okay…Give me a minute…

PS: Take your time…

* * *

You look at your task bar and nearly flip the fuck out when you see that Pana hasn't been the only person pestering you. Oh god, Pana was right. You and her weren't the only ones in this mess. You recognize that pink text anywhere!

* * *

- roniValentine [RV] began pestering klonoaDreams [KD] at 17:25 -

RV: hello Klonoa~!

RV: Happy birthday~! 3

RV: did you get my package?

RV: hellooooo?

RV: ?

RV: I guess I'll talk to you later.

RV: btw, Pana's pestering you!

RV: well, bai~

- roniValentine [RV] ceased pestering klonoaDreams [KD] at 17:34 -

* * *

You get back to Pana almost immediately.

* * *

KD: PANA!

KD: PANA…

KD: Roni's here…

PS: I know.

KD: WHY?!

PS: That I don't know…

KD: Did she message you?

PS: Yeah, but we didn't get too far. She just told me to wait for you.

PS: And she'll explain later.

PS: She wasn't freaking out like us.

KD: Weird.

PS: Yeah, but here you are, so I guess we should get busy.

KD: Hold on, I need to install this damn game.

KD: This will probably take a while.

PS: That's nice. Should I install my copy?

KD: NO!

KD: Just don't…

KD: Not yet.

PS: Okaaaay…

PS: What do I do now?

KD: Mess around with your Sylladex, oh! And allocate your Strife Specibus.

PS: Wat.

KD: Look at your manual. Also, make sure you pick something good.

KD: You need to make sure you got a good weapon to attack.

PS: Shit gonna hit the fan?

KD: It will sooner or later.

PS: Joy.

PS: Okay, I'll get back to you.

PS: You just install that game.

- panaSule [PS] ceased pestering klonoaDreams [KD] at 17:50 -

* * *

**Klonoa: Install the Sburb Beta.**

You insert the CD and install the SBURB BETA. It takes around a minute or so, which is rather nice. Of course, you are greeted with a SBURB CLIENT window and it takes you a few seconds to remember that you need another person to connect with you.

Pana is going to be your Server player. You decide to leave her a message.

* * *

- klonoaDreams [KD] began pestering panaSule [PS] at 17:52 -

KD: You need to connect with me. To do that, you need to install the server disc.

KD: I forgot to tell you there are two discs…crap, I only have one.

KD: I'll worry about that later. Anyways, I need to check up on something first.

KD: So hold up. Tell me when you've installed the server disc.

* * *

**Klonoa: Open purple package.**

You've waited long enough and your Sylladex is empty. You should have no problem opening this package. You pick up the box cutter and open the purple package. There is something inside.

Something very nostalgic and fluffy…

It's a stuffed Klonoa doll! Oh my god, you are so ecstatic about this! You love it immediately and hug it. You always wanted a Klonoa doll and now you have it! Best birthday ever!

You hear a familiar sound and turn to your laptop. It seems your chum is pestering you.

**Klonoa: Check Pesterchum window.**

It's Pana again.

* * *

PS: I still don't get what a strife specibus is, so I just screwed around with my fetch modus.

PS: I'm still confused.

PS: Anyways, you wanted me to install the server disc?

KD: Yeah.

PS: Okay, so I didn't pick the wrong one, then. Okay, it's up…anything?

KD: Hold on!

* * *

You check the SBURB CLIENT window again and it seems that you and Pana have established a successful connection. You are prompted to press [ENTER] when ready. You give Pana a heads-up before anything.

* * *

KD: Is your body prepared?

PS: Yes, it is.

KD: Our main goal is to not let this game make us its bitch.

PS: Got it.

KD: Okay, I'm gonna press the enter key…

PS: Go for it.

KD: May the odds be ever in our favor.

PS: Sure.

KD: Remind me to get you to read or watch Hunger Games.

PS: No promises! Let's do this!

* * *

**Klonoa: Press [ENTER].**

…

…

* * *

A/N End of chapter. Well, guys, it takes us five chapters to finally get this game started. Okay, here's the deal. Things have changed since chapter four. More ideas came up and SWACAstuck got more support on the Skype group…at least, in a certain group.

Anyways, things are gonna come into play, especially now that Roni has been mentioned in the pesterlog. I'll get into Roni later, for now, we'll be focusing on just Klonoa and Pana for the moment. Just a heads up…there are more of us who have been dragged in.

That's about it for now. Hope you readers enjoyed the chapter and it'd be great if you left a review! SWACA loves feedback! You can also leave a suggestion for us.

Well, until next chapter! KD out! XD


	6. Klonoa: Spin that shit like a record!

You can feel your heart beating within your chest. You can hear it as well. You never thought you'd actually find the SBURB BETA loading screen so intimidating. You're nervous because you know what's going to happen and there's nothing you can do to stop it. Your life sucks, but you might as well get used to it.

Within less than a minute, SBURB BETA finishes loading. It has begun.

**Be Pana.**

You are now Pana.

You're a little nervous because you have no idea what Sburb is about. While the game was loading, you looked up an FAQ. However, you were disappointed to see how badly done the FAQs were done. They are also incomplete.

It takes you a few seconds to realize the reason and it makes you feel cold. The players didn't make it… You have a feeling others are going to play it, so you decide to make an FAQ of your own.

It's going to be difficult, but you guess you'll try. You won't be wordy or anything, because screw that. Besides, you have a feeling Roni is going to have to play this game as well, so you might as well give her a reference. Better safe than sorry.

Of course, you don't really get too far into the FAQ since Sburb loaded so quickly. You don't mind, but you find it strange how there are these weird interface buttons on the top of the screen. You see a girl around your age in the screen, just staring at her laptop. She is in her room and, for some reason, her window is broken.

You quickly realize that you are looking at Klonoa. This is weird.

**Pana: Select Magic chest.**

You click the select button and mouse over to the magic chest. You click the magic chest once and that's all you need to do to drag it. You find it convenient that you don't have to hold as you click, otherwise that'd be a pain in the ass.

**Pana: Zoom out.**

Apparently, you can zoom out while holding stuff. You can now see Klonoa's house and wow, those are a lot of roses. You're still trying to get the feel of the controls so you end up dropping the magic chest on the top of the roof.

KD: What are you doing?

PS: Getting used to the controls.

KD: Is my chest on the roof?

PS: Yes.

KD: Well, there's probably nothing useful in there.

KD: Don't get carried away and do something stupid.

PS: Kay-kay.

PS: Why are you covered in pie?

KD: Oh crap, I forgot about that.

KD: I better go clean up.

PS: You want me to get you a towel?

KD: I'll do it.

KD: Just don't touch my bathroom.

**Be Klonoa.**

You are back to being Klonoa.

You really hope things won't be so difficult. You look outside your window and see that your DAD is leaving the house. Well, crap, now you have to postpone everything. You are not leaving your father behind. You are not letting him die.

You go back to your laptop to give Pana a heads-up.

KD: Pana, we're gonna have to wait.

PS: Why?

KD: My dad just left and I don't want to leave him behind.

KD: I don't want him dying on me.

PS: It's okay.

PS: Let's just hope he gets home before everything goes to hell.

KD: Okay, I'm gonna get back to cleaning my face.

KD: Actually, I'm gonna take a shower.

KD: I got pie in my hair.

PS: Need anything?

KD: Please don't watch me take a shower…

PS: Ok.

**Klonoa: Go to the bathroom.**

You spend the next ten to fifteen minutes taking a shower, because you HATE having stuff in your hair and you might as well clean yourself up because you hate being sticky. In your haste to take a shower, you end up forgetting to bring a change of clothes with you. It was at that moment that Pana dragged your wardrobe into the bathroom.

You would be mad, but clothes are clothes and you would rather not be in just a towel.

**Klonoa: Enter the wardrobe again.**

You don't find Narnia, but you are quite happy with just finding clothes. You are also quite happy with the privacy…

That's your cue to be Pana again.

**Be Pana again.**

You decide to give Klonoa her privacy and be Pana again.

You're really getting nervous as to what you're supposed to do. You're waiting for Klonoa's father to come back home, but how long will that take? You decide to mess around with the controls again, just to kill some time.

Pana: Select wardrobe.

Pana, what are you doing?

Pana, stop!

Pana!

Klonoa is still in the wardrobe!

Pana!

Don't zoom out!

Pana, stahp!

**Pana: Drop wardrobe.**

"Oh crap." You really shouldn't have done that. Now the wardrobe is on Klonoa's front yard and…oh crap, she fell out of the wardrobe. Well, at least she's wearing clothes!

…

She looks pretty pissed and enters the wardrobe again without saying anything. You have a feeling she wants you to take her back into her room. You select the wardrobe and set it back into its spot in Klonoa's room very gently, so as to not cause any damage or harm to Klonoa.

You succeed and almost immediately, Klonoa gets out of the wardrobe and goes to her laptop.

"Shit." You have a feeling she was going to have some serious words with you.

**Be Klonoa.**

You decide to be Klonoa again.

KD: Pana…

PS: I did not mean for that to happen.

KD: Ugh…

KD: Be more careful next time.

KD: That nearly scared the crap out of me.

PS: Okay, I will…

KD: Well, since it's going to be a while, we might as well get ready.

KD: Just so we can kick things off immediately the second my dad comes home.

PS: Do you want me to get your PDA first?

KD: Oh, yeah! Please do!

PS: Uh, Klonoa?

KD: You can't, can you?

PS: It's out of my range.

PS: Let me fix that.

Within the next few seconds, you feel the room shake as a green cursor modifies your room. You hope Pana knows what she is doing… You decide to ask her just in case.

KD: Please tell me you know what to do…

PS: I actually do.

PS: I found a lot of crappy FAQs.

PS: They at least got the controls down.

PS: There were few other things, but not much after that.

PS: Okay, watch out.

KD: Watch out for what?

THUD!

KD: The hell is that?!

PS: There we go.

There is a weird machine in your room. It looks neat and you think you know the name, but it passes your mind at the moment. Luckily, Pana fills you in.

PS: It's called a Totem Lathe.

PS: That's all I know about it.

PS: Any questions?

KD: How much Grist do we have?

PS: Grist?

KD: It's the button that looks like a fruit gusher.

PS: Okay…

PS: Uh…

PS: I think I might have used up four Grist, so we now have sixteen Grist.

KD: We'll make it work.

PS: Move into the farthest corner of the room.

PS: I want to see if I can get your PDA this time.

**Klonoa: Stand in corner.**

This sure is boring! At least you got your PDA…even though it's not really yours, but your DAD'S, but screw that. It's yours now.

"MINE." You pick up the PDA and mess around with it. You managed to install Pesterchum onto the PDA, so now you can communicate with Pana without the need of your laptop.

PS: Oops.

KD: What did you do?

PS: Oh, hey.

PS: I didn't know you could install Pesterchum on a PDA!

KD: Pana…what did you do?

PS: Nothing. Just pressed a wrong button.

PS: Okay, I'm going to set this Cruxtruder in the living room.

PS: And this Alchemiter onto the balcony.

KD: Is that why my house is shaking?

PS: Yup-yup.

KD: Welp, get ready for some punch card-based alchemy.

PS: Why am I thinking FMA now?

KD: OMG I'm not the only one.

KD: Well, I'm gonna go check the Alchemiter first.

KD: Man, this PDA is freaking useful.

**Klonoa: Go out to the balcony.**

It is freaking awesome how your house has a balcony. There's also a telescope on here and there's the alchemiter, but you can't use it now. There are still things left to do. You should look through the telescope.

**Klonoa: Look through telescope.**

You do just that and you see that it's a nice, sunny day. The sky is a lovely shade of blue and…oh, you had almost forgotten that the sun looked like that. It's really pretty.

Well, there's nothing else you need to worry about since there's nothing out of the ordinary that you see. Though, you do hear something that seems rather off.

KD: Pana, what are you doing?

PS: Nothing.

KD: Pana…

PS: Klonoa…

KD: Pana…

PS: Klonoa…

KD: Pana…

PS: Klonoa…

KD: I'm gonna go investigate.

**Klonoa: Investigate.**

You make a face as you find that your toilet is no longer located in the bathroom. There is a hole where your toilet used to be and you have a feeling you know what happened to it. Well, on the bright side, you now have a shortcut to get to the utility room. You also see a sledgehammer and a card.

PS: Are you mad?

KD: No. I had a feeling this was going to happen.

PS: Huh?

KD: It's a running gag.

PS: It is? I thought it was a one-time thing…

PS: This is what I get for not getting past Act I.

KD: It's okay.

KD: Welp, gotta get to that Cruxtruder.

**Klonoa: Hop down the hole.**

You jump down to the utility room and land on top of the dryer…or is it a washing machine? You really don't know and you don't have time to find out.

**Klonoa: Get sledgehammer and card.**

You get both items, combine the two, and quickly add them to your Strife Specibus. You just made your life a tad bit easier with the sledgehammer. You can only hope you can use it right.

At the moment, your PDA sounds an alert as another of your chums begins to pester you.

**Klonoa: Answer chum.**

- roniValentine [RV] began pestering klonoaDreams [KD] at 18:25 -

RV: did you get my package yet?

KD: RONI!

KD: I mean, not yet…

RV: Damn! It was in a pink box…

KD: Oh, crap…

KD: My dad just left and…the box was in there.

RV: well that's too bad.

RV: I'm sure you'll get it!

RV: what're you doing now?

KD: Playing Sburb—OMG RONI!

KD: How are you not freaking out?!

RV: I got used to it.

RV: I'll tell you about it later.

RV: just keep playing.

RV: what was that?

KD: Roni, don't worry me…

KD: What happened?

RV: I heard an explosion…

RV: I better go check it out.

KD: Be careful…

RV: I will!

RV: bai ~

- roniValentine [RV] ceased pestering klonoaDreams [KD] at 18:27 -

You are extremely relieved that Roni is doing well. It's just good to hear from her… Well, you might as well go check out the Cruxtruder.

**Klonoa: Go into the living room.**

You make a face as the Cruxtruder blocks your door. You're annoyed, but at the same time, you're relieved. There is no counter, not yet at least. You know the counter is only a warning, but you rather not see how much time you have left. You just want some time to calm down and maybe you should get your first-aid kit.

KD: Pana.

KD: Can you give me the first-aid kit in my room?

KD: It's on my bed.

PS: Sure.

PS: Here you go!

You immediately grab the first-aid kit as the green cursor brings it closer to you. It immediately gets placed inside your Sylladex. You need to find a way to change your Fetch Modus. Things are going to get serious in a bit and you need some way to make your life a tad bit more convenient. You should also create a holster for your PDA.

Having to drop it before you add anything into your Sylladex is going to get annoying. Of course, this keeps you from trapping your PDA in your Sylladex. You're just more worried about forgetting to drop it before grabbing anything.

You should probably start searching and—what was that noise?

PS: Oh duck.

KD: Pana, what did you do?

PS: Oh nothing…

PS: I'm just fixing your bathroom…

KD: You dislodged my bathtub, didn't you?

PS: Why do you have both a shower and a bathtub?

KD: I…have no idea.

KD: Wait, I'm remembering stuff…

KD: My dad added in the shower.

KD: By the way, how is your house?

PS: I have no idea.

PS: I haven't taken the time to explore…

PS: Well, I'm just going to put the bathtub in the driveway.

PS: Don't mind me.

KD: I won't.

Of course, on the bathtub's journey to the driveway, a connection is interrupted. You feel the whole place shake as the bathtub lands at the top of the stairs. You make a face and make your way upstairs. The bathtub is in your way.

**Klonoa: Crawl into bathtub.**

You have no other choice since it's in your freaking way. You climb into the bathtub and take out the PDA to scold Pana.

KD: Pana…

KD: Tell me what is wrong with this picture.

PS: Sorry, Klonoa.

PS: I got disconnected for a moment.

PS: Wow…my wireless signal is crap.

KD: Find a better signal!

PS: That would mean I have to leave my room.

PS: And I have no idea what is outside my room…

KD: Fine, then…

KD: Hey, is my dad home yet?

PS: I think I see his car…

PS: Why?

KD: Time is running out as we speak.

KD: I just needed to know so I can hit the Cruxtruder with the sledgehammer.

PS: You need any help?

KD: If it looks like I can't lift up the sledgehammer, please help.

PS: Kay-kay.

**Klonoa: Hit Cruxtruder with sledgehammer.**

Oh god, your arms are freaking weak! You can't lift up the damn sledgehammer! Ugh, this is what you hated about your thirteen-year-old self! You were still unable to pick up heavy things without them throwing off your balance and nearly straining your arms. It sucks to be short!

Thankfully, Pana helped you out and picked up the sledgehammer. She then let go and the sledgehammer suddenly went down and hit the top of the Cruxtruder.

"Oh crap…" It's starting and the Cruxtruder is turning blue.

PS: What now?

KD: Wait for it…

The Cruxtruder begins to flip the fuck out and turn blue. It's a rather interesting sight for someone with such a short attention-span to witness. Of course, because of this, the aforementioned someone was not prepared to see the Cruxtruder's top pop off and screamed in shock.

**Pana: Ask Klonoa if she is okay.**

PS: Are you okay?

KD: Sorry!

KD: I'm sorry…

KD: I just blanked out…

KD: My heart…

PS: Should I be concerned about that blue thing?

Pana makes a face as she moves the mouse over to the circular glowing blue light. It goes from black, to blue, to white with every passing second. It looks pretty, but it's also strange-looking.

PS: Actually, forget about it…

PS: There's a timer on the Cruxtruder.

**Klonoa: Look at timer.**

Shit! You only have five minutes and two seconds—oh god, it's going down! Resist urge to panic—resist!

KD: Pana, what should I do now?!

KD: Everything I know just left my mind.

KD: I have literally blanked out!

PS: Okay, the lid's off, now you need to extrude some "Cruxite".

PS: Turn the wheel!

**Klonoa: Turn the wheel.**

You waste no time in turning the wheel on the Cruxtruder. A sky-blue cylinder-shaped item pops out of the Cruxtruder and lands right behind you. You have just extruded ONE (1) CRUXITE DOWEL. You make sure to drop the PDA before taking the Cruxite. You then grab your PDA to see if Pana has anything to say.

PS: Okay, you got everything.

PS: Anyways, you're going to need this card.

KD: Just drop it in front of me.

KD: I am so tempted to look at the clock…

PS: Focus.

KD: Mmergh.

**Klonoa: Catch card.**

You nearly forget to drop your PDA before catching the card that Pana dropped over your head. Seriously, you need a holster for this damn PDA.

PS: Uh, you're being followed by that blue thing.

KD: That's the Kernelsprite.

PS: Oh, so that's what it is…

PS: It needs to be "prototyped".

PS: Twice, actually…whatever that means.

KD: You have more control over this, so do what you want.

You are completely unaware of the green cursor moving the harlequin doll behind you. You have no idea that Pana is trying to prototype the Kernelsprite with the doll.

KD: Just don't use the doll-

KD: Pana, no!

PS: Oops.

It is too late. Pana has dropped the harlequin doll into the Kernelsprite. The Kernelsprite has been prototyped with the harlequin doll and there is not a damn thing you can do about it. You just glare at the creepy harlequin doll as it tries to talk to you. You don't understand a thing…

**Klonoa: Scold Pana.**

KD: Pana…

PS: It's only at "Tier One Prototyping".

PS: Well fix it later!

KD: Fine…

KD: We're running out of time.

KD: Or rather, I am.

KD: Oh god, the pressure!

PS: Get a hold of yourself!

KD: I'm gonna go to the balcony!

There is something you have to check out at this moment. You are very aware that the Kernelsprite is following you, but you don't really care.

**Klonoa: Captchalogue telescope.**

You are now on the balcony and that telescope seems extremely useful at this current moment. You drop your PDA before snatching the telescope from its tripod.

**Klonoa: Use telescope to inspect sky.**

You look at the sky through your telescope. You are feeling extremely nervous because the Kernelsprite seems particularly agitated right now. You find out why when you see a falling projectile in the sky.

"Oh fuck…" You're no expert, but the projectile's trajectory looks suspiciously head-on with your current perspective. This is it… It's actually happening.

You are going to die…

"Can you like get away?" That damn Kernelsprite is rather distracting. It's just there, staring at you and…

Oh god, how did you not notice that? The harlequin doll that had been used to prototype the Kernelsprite had gone untouched. There were no scars on it and it had both arms. Its hat was still in perfect condition. The whole reason being for this was that you grasped the concept and inconvenience of your Fetch Modus before having to resort to different measures of forcing an item out of your Sylladex via ejection.

You still have the same Fetch Modus, you have never once touched the glass shards in your room, and Pana has had a surprisingly stable connection with you…for the most part. In some ways, things have stayed the same, but at the same time, things also differed. You know that you had some part in it, as well as Pana.

At the same time, you can't help but feel that this entire scenario also had part in it. Otherwise, you wouldn't have an extra minute to your remaining time to spare.

**Klonoa: High-five Kernelsprite.**

You suppose you've left him hanging long enough. You still find the Kernelsprite extremely creepy…

You hear an alert from your PDA and pick it up. You ignore the fact that you've captchalogue the telescope, but fuck it. Pana is pestering you again.

PS: Klonoa, your dad is home.

PS: I just saw him park the car…

KD: Oh thank god…

KD: What are you doing right now?

PS: Sort of trying to fix your bathroom?

KD: Focus on that later!

KD: Please…

PS: Kay-kay.

PS: What do you want me to do?

KD: I dunno—hold on, someone else is pestering me.

KD: Fuck, what do I do?

PS: Answer them.

PS: I'll try to see if there's anything left in the FAQs.

KD: Got it…

You switch over to see who is pestering you and you nearly drop your PDA as you find yourself greeted by purple text.

- darkenedRazor [DR] began pestering klonoaDreams [KD] at 18:34 -

DR: Oh Klonoers ~

DR: Just checking up if you've gotten my box yet.

DR: I mean, you cannot say I didnt get you anything for your birthday.

DR: I even made sure it was something you liked.

DR: That cat-rabbit doll thing was fucking expensive.

DR: Show some respect.

DR: I even added a fetch modus as a bonus.

DR: Now tell me how I'm not awesome.

KD: How the fuck—okay, that Klonoa doll WAS pretty awesome.

DR: Face it, Klonoers, you're totally in love with yourself.

DR: Why else would you be so obsessed with Klonoa?

KD: Dude, you're making it hard to thank you for the gift.

DR: So whats going on?

KD: Okay, I'm playing Sburb and it's a fucking nightmare.

KD: Pana sorta broke my bathroom.

KD: And now there's a meteor headed my way.

KD: I'm gonna die.

DR: Whoa there, no need to be so dramatic.

KD: Don't you dare try trolling me right now!

KD: I am being serious.

DR: I know…

KD: Asshole.

DR: You know you've missed me.

KD: Actually, when the hell did you get in here?

DR: Oh, crap…

DR: It actually IS you.

KD: Wha?

DR: Look, now is not the time to explain.

DR: There is some asteroid or comet or whatever the fuck it is.

DR: the point is that its heading for you.

DR: just get to what you were doing right now.

DR: Bit of advice in case you're stuck

DR: you know that pre-punched card you have?

DR: Use it on the Totem Lathe

DR: and then put the Cruxite in.

DR: You're welcome.

DR: now get your arse moving.

Well, this seems legit.

**Klonoa: Use pre-punched card on totem lathe.**

You rush into your room to do just that, but you face a bit of a problem. You have a full Sylladex and the pre-punched card is stuck in the middle of it. You have no way of getting it out unless you resort to forcing your items out…or dropping them one-by-one. While it seems easy and quick, it actually takes much more time to drop an item one-by-one instead of forcing it out. You have to wait for the items to move a card over if there is an empty space in front.

You never really thought about it much until now because, unlike earlier, you're running out of time right now! You fucking hate your Fetch Modus!

**Didn't DR mention a Fetch Modus?**

How did you forget about that?! You rush over to the purple package and look inside to find a purple Fetch Modus card. You don't really take the time to check out its function until after you applied it to your Sylladex.

You nearly want to throw a fit when you _do_ check your current Fetch Modus. Items captchalogued in your Sylladex are no longer accessible…at all. The only way you can get to your items is through spinning an arrow and hoping it lands on the item of your desire. Why is that?

Because DR has given you a Spinner Fetch Modus, so now you have to rely on luck or extremely carefully done spins. In a way, it's better than stack, but no. It's just another tactic DR is using to troll you! The clock's ticking, you got to get going.

**Klonoa: Spin that shit right round!**

Your captchalogue cards appear in a circular manner around a red arrow. You quickly spin the arrow and just wait impatiently to land. In hindsight, maybe you should have gone easy on spinning that arrow, but it's too late now! You decide to take a look at your PDA in the meantime as you wait for that arrow to stop.

KD: Okay, Pana.

KD: It turns out, Dark is also here.

KD: Pana?

- panaSule [PS] is no longer connected! -

KD: Oh shit.

You are on your own. You turn to see if the arrow has stopped spinning and it seems that it's slowing down. You look closely at it, hoping it lands on the pre-punched card.

"C'mon, Klonoa needs that card…" You look eagerly at it with tightened fists.

Apparently, life decides to go "fuck you" and lands on the cruxite. The cruxite pops out of a card and lands on the floor. You scowl and decide to make the most of it by taking the cruxite to the lathe and clamping it in. That's one thing down.

**Klonoa: Right round like a record, baby!**

You spin that shit once more like a record and make sure you go easy on the arrow. This is getting really inconvenient and now that damn song is stuck in your head. The only good thing about this Fetch Modus is that you no longer have to worry about accidentally captchaloging items.

This time, luck is on your side and the arrow lands on the pre-punched card. You immediately grab it as it gets dropped out of a Captchalogue Card.

**Klonoa: Use pre-punched card on totem lathe.**

You slip the pre-punched card into a slot on the totem lathe. Above, the tool arm deploys a configuration of chisels. You have something to lathe already due to your foresight. Aren't you quite lucky?

**Klonoa: Activate lathe.**

It doesn't really take that for the lathe to carve the cruxite into a totem, but to you, it felt like eternity due to your lack of time. You really are quite nervous to check how much time you have, but you don't care! You captchalogue the totem and run out of your room. There is a bathtub in your way and at this moment, you're extremely glad your door opens inwardly.

It'd be extremely inconvenient if it were otherwise, considering your currently MIA server player. May she find some Wi-Fi soon enough.

**Klonoa: Right round round round!**

Not that damn song again! You scowl as you exit the house onto the balcony and quickly deploy your Sylladex's Fetch Modus to spin the arrow. You are almost there…you are quite glad Pana has done her job for the most part in assisting you this far, but you are now on your own.

All you have to do is hope the arrow lands on the right card. There is still hope! You still have a—oh who are you kidding?! You are fucking screwed and you know it.

"Fuck my life…"

…

…

* * *

A/N End of chapter. This is it. It's happening. And our leader of SWACA has finally made an appearance in some form! Say hello to **DarkenedRazor**, or better known on **Hellfirecomms** as **Drazor** (there are a lot of people in the chat with Dark in their name).

Anyways, here's the thing about Dark…he is one of the members of SWACA who loves to troll the fuck out of his friends. Seriously, he knows how to do it…all while sounding so serious and legit-sounding. Like he'll keeping dragging it out and you won't know he's trolling you sometimes.

Roni and I get the worst of it at times since Dark finds our reactions amusing. Of course, everyone finds my reactions amusing…fucking sadists.

Anyways, we're not done yet with appearances from SWACA…you have forgotten about the adults. Of course, we'll get into that later. Also, things are starting to differ, such as the untouched harlequin doll. Of course, again, we'll get into that later. For now, hope you enjoyed this chapter.

Because Klonoa sure is going through hell for this. On a more serious note, I'm finally registered for college classes. School start's September 16th. Woo.

Well, that's it for now! Feedback is always appreciated, so review away! SWACA always does take it into consideration and if you have a suggestion, go ahead and say it!

Until next time, KD out! XD


	7. End of Act 1

**Be Pana.**

You are now Pana.

There are a lot of things that are currently wrong at this moment. For one thing, your power just went out. For another thing, so is your Wi-Fi. And if that wasn't enough, you've left Klonoa all alone. Time is running out for her and you have no idea how she's doing.

You need to find some Wi-Fi right now. You also need to allocate your Kind Abstratus. And then there's the fact that you really need to explore your house.

Well, better late than never, you guess.

**Pana: Look at green package.**

That's right, you had almost forgotten about it. You found it while you were looking for your copy of the SBURB BETA. You recall that it was a gift you were meaning to send to Klonoa, but you didn't finish it yet. What's inside?

Yeah, you're not saying anything… You just grab the box and hide it under your bed.

**Pana: Allocate Kind Abstratus.**

You might as well try it now. You look at the list of possible choices. Some of them seem neat, others seem useless, and then there's boxkind.

"The fuck is this?" It really feels good to actually say that since autocorrect doesn't work in real life…at least, you hope.

You continue looking at boxkind, wondering how it works. Does it use an actual box…or is it like boxing as in fighting? Without even thinking, you accidentally select boxkind and now you're stuck with this confusing Kind Abstratus. You only hope you did not screw yourself over.

**Pana: Check strife specibus.**

"Oh fuck…" You find yourself staring at the image of a box on your strife specibus. You have thoroughly screwed yourself over.

What will you do now?

**Pana: Get violin.**

Oh, you almost forgot about that violin. You have no idea why you own a violin since you know for a fact that you don't know how to play a violin. Still, you'll humor yourself and mess around with it. Of course, you end up captchaloging the violin and now you have to play a little game with your Sylladex's Fetch Modus.

**Pana: Explain Fetch Modus.**

Your captchalogue cards act as your revolver's chambers. There are six of them, but only one is occupied by your violin. The function of your Fetch Modus is simple. You have to spin the cylinder, which renders an item's location unknown. From there, you pull the trigger and hope you get the item you're looking for.

Unlike an actual Russian roulette game, you don't WANT a blank shot. You want the item of your desire, so now that the rules have been explained, you might as well begin.

**Pana: Begin.**

You spin the cylinder and wait for it to stop. Once it stops, you aim the revolver at your bed and pull the trigger. All you hear is a 'CLICK', which is enough to tell you that you've gotten a blank.

"God damnit…"

**Pana: Try again.**

Let's try this again! And go!

BANG!

"YES!" Your violin lands on your bed and your Sylladex is completely empty once more. You feel quite proud of yourself, but you have a feeling that your Fetch Modus will eventually become an inconvenience.

You sigh as you pick up your violin.

**Pana: Play a haunting refrain on the violin.**

You don't think, just play as muscle memory takes over. While you know for a fact that you never learned to play the violin, new memories resurface that tell you otherwise. It explains why you can play this specific instrument. You wonder what else you have learned, but nothing comes to mind just yet.

You think it's one of those memories that come into mind when the conditions are met. It makes sense, considering you are remembering a lot of things from just looking and touching things in your room. Maybe you can remember even more things if you leave the room.

You decide to try it out.

**Pana: Captchalogue knitting supply bag.**

Okay, according to memory, you also know how to knit. That's one more thing you have discovered you know. While you were at it, you also captchalogue your laptop since you're going to need it. Praise be to battery-powered laptops! How lucky you are that you kept it charged!

Now you only hope this laptop is in good condition to last more than an hour unplugged. Otherwise, you're stuck with a randomly shutting off laptop.

**Pana: Look out window.**

You never did really take the time to look at your surroundings that wasn't your room. It's dark and it's raining hard, but you can make out the view your panoramic window offers of the yard below. Holy crap, your yard is huge and is that fucking mausoleum?!

Memories are coming back…that mausoleum is of your cat Jaspers, who died when you were young. Just what were you thinking of exactly when you named your cat? You hope to god it wasn't Twilight…and you are extremely relieved to find out it wasn't Twilight because that god-awful piece of shit garbage had yet to exist when you had Jaspers.

Dear god, Klonoa's immense hatred for the Twilight series is rubbing off on you. It's even distracting you like it does with her when she goes off on a tangent about her hatred.

**Pana: Focus.**

You focus your attention back on the view. Okay, apart from having a mausoleum for your dead cat, you also can make out the silhouette of a laboratory next door. A facility, which is likely to broadcast a strong WIRELESS INTERNET SIGNAL, you muse. You might be able to connect from a different part of the house.

You should probably seek higher ground.

**Pana: Examine book on desk.**

Why the hell do you have a grimoire in your possession? What kind of freaky shit are you into?

…

…

Wait, you have played a videogame in which shooting yourself in the head or crushing a card summons a demon. You really should refrain from asking such questions.

**Pana: Take book.**

You might as well have _something_ you can put your laptop on.

**Pana: Go explore house.**

You are doing this. You are making this happen. You should have done this earlier when Klonoa was showering instead of fooling around with Sburb. Sure, you gave her the wardrobe, but you could have done that all while having a strong wireless internet signal.

After leaving your bedroom, you take a look at the hallway. There is a painting of an EXQUISITE WIZARD next to your door. You like wizards and you find this painting quite exquisite. You are starting recall that this is just a small preview of your guardian's immense collection of all things wizard-related.

Along with that, you also recall that down the hall to the right is the way to the OBSERVATORY. How the hell do you have that in your house? Forget that, how big IS your house?!

?

Oh crap, your guardian's room is also in that direction. It's all coming to you now. You will have to watch your step.

**Pana: Tiptoe to observatory.**

You approach a juncture in the hallway. Beyond the aforementioned juncture is the observatory. You are starting to see more of your guardian's collection.

Okay, you don't see your guardian around and everything is seemingly alone, except for you. You think you've done a good job so far…

**Pana: Sneak by.**

Success!

FLASH!

Okay, the lightning and thunder are starting to get to you. This place is just so damn quiet and dark… Well, at least you made it. The door is just right there and you're quite sure this leads to the observatory. If memory serves you well, you haven't ventured up there in quite some time. You wonder why.

**Pana: Go through the door.**

You figure out why the exact moment you go through the door. The door opens to an exterior walkway that has no rail, whatsoever, and you can make out a—is that a waterfall?! Your house is built on a waterfall! How is that possible?!

You really have to stop questioning things. You're only making it much harder on yourself. The weather is already giving you a hard time. You're scared, cold, and you really hate the fact that this walkway lacks a rail. You can tell it's a long drop from here if you slip and fall.

The things you'll do to help out a friend.

**Pana: Hurry up to that observatory.**

You enter the observatory the second you reach the door. You are wet from the rain and cold, but you've made it.

**Pana: Try to connect!**

You must play Russian roulette first before you can do that!

You take out your revolver and check out the chambers in the cylinder. Okay, there are only two blanks this time and the other four are taken up by your laptop, the grimoire, your knitting supply bag, and the violin you decided to keep with you.

Let's try your luck again.

**Pana: Spin, baby, spin!**

CLICK!

"Fuck!" You got a blank! You scowl and spin the cylinder again. You'll keep trying until you get it!

BANG!

It's your grimoire that shoots out! Blast!

You spin the cylinder again and hope for something. You pull the trigger and exclaim, "Persona!"

BANG!

Your quote to your favorite Shin Megami Tensei spin-off series has earned you the luck you needed to shoot out your laptop. You catch it as it falls to the floor. You got everything!

**Pana: See what you can observe.**

Just because you are in a hurry doesn't mean you can't take a peek through that huge telescope. Besides, you do need to check the state of your scenario.

You find a gap in the clouds. There is a flurry of meteoroids streaking the night sky overhead. It's a lovely sight to witness, but the fact that you can see this is quite disconcerting because it means your turn is almost up.

**Pana: Stack laptop on Grimoire to maximize elevation.**

You need all the advantage you can get and you're wet, so you really can't put the laptop on your lap. Now you just hope you don't have to play a game of "guess the network security key"!

**Pana: Access laboratory wifi network.**

As luck would have it, one of the several signals being broadcasted from the laboratory is conveniently UNSECURED. The signal strength is also decent and within seconds of connecting to the selected signal, you reconnect with Klonoa.

Klonoa seems to be playing a game with her Sylladex. It seems she has a spinner Fetch Modus. In a way, her Fetch Modus is like yours, and like yours, it all relies on luck. You can tell she's running out of time and there is nothing you can do to help her.

She is on her own.

You just hope she gets lucky.

**Be Klonoa.**

You are back to being Klonoa.

Why did you have to spin that arrow so hard?! You are regretting not carefully spinning that arrow. You just hope it lands on the totem…

The Kernelsprite is getting awfully worked up about all this and you actually feel the same way, except you're surprisingly calmer. Of course, you're just mere moments away from breaking down and crying like a baby.

You hope you don't cry—oh god dammit, you're actually crying right now at this moment. The tears…they just won't stop!

"It stopped!" The arrow…it stopped and—fuck yes! It landed on the totem! You catch the totem as it falls out and immediately place it on the alchemiter's small pedestal.

Something is happening…

Oh god, what was that?! You see something out of the corner of your eye and curse your peripheral vision as you look at the sky. It's that fucking meteor! You turn your attention back at the alchemiter. A weird device is scanning a red light on the totem.

Almost instantly, a light blue tree appears on the alchemiter's large platform. A light blue apple tree forms above you on a branch. It takes a few seconds for the apple to completely form before gravity or whatever force working on it pulls the fruit down. The apple lands directly into your hands.

This is it. You are just mere seconds away from entering the medium. It's all up to you, now. Your life, as well as your father's, is literally in your hands.

**Klonoa: Take bite out of apple.**

You turn to look at the incoming meteor and nearly drop the apple in shock. It is only seconds away from impact. You have to do this quickly. You can feel the entire house shaking.

You hope that your new life won't throw anymore curve balls at you. You can only laugh at yourself now for even hoping for something that ridiculous. The moment you woke up in bed today marked the end of everything you came to know and love in your life. Even though you are aware that your current life is but another life you were forced into after being pulled out of your previous one, you still grew attached. You still carry the memories that came along with your new life as well as the memories of your previous life.

You never had the chance to mourn the loss of your previous life and you doubt you'll have the same chance to do so with your new life. It's quite disheartening to know that you are not alone. At the same time, it's almost comforting since you have some support.

It's not enough to weaken the apple's strong bittersweet taste, but it still gives you the strength and resolve to anticipate the events to come. Because you have an idea of what exactly are those events.

You are prepared.

…

…

* * *

A/N End of chapter. So we've reached the end of Act 1. Klonoa is now in the medium and this is probably the fastest I've done a chapter. Of course, it's not that good, but whatever.

SWACAstuck has reached ten reviews, so it's time for my usual tenth reviewer shout-out! Of course, Reviewer #10 just so happens to be Karkat, of all people! Yeah, who'd thought… Still, thank you to all the reviewers who took the time to review! It really does mean a lot to me since I take time out of my day to write a story, specifically, one based on my friends and me.

Classes start in September and considering my schedule, I'll only have Tuesdays and the weekends off, so I'm gonna have to put fanfiction aside to adjust to college life. Lucky for you guys, the college I'm attending is half an hour away from my home, so all I have to worry about is homework, exams, and projects. It's just like high school, only busier.

Welp, hope you enjoyed the chapter. Hope you guys read and review! Feedback is always appreciated and a bit of a heads up, anonymous reviews are on. Make what you will of that.

Well, that's it for this chapter! Until next time, KD out! XD


	8. ACT 2

Sburb Beta Walkthrough

Version 1.0, May 2, 2013

By panaSule

…

…

Caveats and Condolences

…

Considering the circumstances, I'm going to make this plain and simple. If you're reading this, then chances are that you've installed this game onto your computer. If this is true, then you, like many others, have just participated in bringing about the end of the world. It's happening now as I type.

The world is ending and there is not a damn thing we can do to stop it. The same could go for preventing any of this. With that said, don't beat yourself up for contributing to the cause of this scenario. We were all doomed from the start.

However, if you're lucky and I MEAN lucky, you'll be among a possible small group of people who succeed. My friend has been, so far, the only person to make it further than anyone else has. If she can make it, then so can you and anyone else who reads this guide.

Now while this game screwed everyone over, it is also your only means of salvation. Long story short, you want to live, play the game and don't let it make you its bitch. I'll be your guide and if you have a problem with that, then you better hope your death is quick and painless, because you are going to die. Though, a bit of a heads up…this is going to be typed from a trial-and-error experience. Hopefully, your run won't be as blind as mine will.

My condolences.

~PS

…

…

* * *

Taking a bite out of that apple made you feel weird. It was definitely hard to swallow, but you managed. You can hear the wind blowing, but it's not exactly the most relaxing sound you have ever heard, considering your current situation. There is no light, only darkness all around. You feel a slight chill as you can tell something is extremely off.

The Kernelsprite suddenly divides, its two halves going their separate ways. All that gets left behind is the sprite portion. A blue, circular light appears above that resembles the SBURB BETA loading screen logo.

**BOY.**

What has been left of the sprite undergoes a mysterious transformation. The apple disappeared and, for a moment, you thought you heard someone say "BOY", as if whispered in the periphery of your awareness. Though, it was probably your imagination.

**YOU THERE. BOY.**

It is at this moment that Klonoa regrets her Homestuck Beta gender choice once more. It seems the game is still making the correction, or maybe it hasn't reached others just yet. Klonoa also notices the perspective change, which is a sign that she has gained some control.

"About fucking time…" she mutters.

Since she now has more control over herself, Klonoa decides to peek over the railing to see what is down below. The sight of what seems to be a long drop from her current position makes her back away from the railing.

Sometimes, it really sucks to have bouts of acrophobia. Actually, it wasn't the fear of heights that scared her…it was falling.

"What's the name for fear of falling?" Klonoa doesn't know.

Instead of lingering on this thought, Klonoa decides to go back into the house. She wonders if anything has changed…aside from perspective and the creepy harlequin doll sprite that she still doesn't understand.

The house seems normal and the bathroom is still a wreck, but Klonoa doesn't care—at least, not now. She is still alive and that's all she cares about right now.

**BOY. LISTEN TO ME, BOY.**

"My name is Klonoa, you nincompoop!" It takes Klonoa a few seconds to realize she completely missed the point of correcting the voice.

**BOY WHO IS KLONOA. DO AS I SAY.**

Klonoa makes a face as she goes down the stairs…or tries to, because, once again, irony makes this girl its bitch and causes her to fall the rest of the way down due to tripping on untied shoelaces. It just keeps happening!

"At least I'm still alive…" Klonoa says as she gets off the floor. Before anything, she ties her shoelaces. She was not going to fall down anymore stairs…

**THIS WAY. THROUGH THE DOORS LIKE YOU SEE IN A COWBOY SALOON.**

Okay, this thing is getting fucking annoying and—"Holy hell!"

Mere moments after entering the kitchen, Klonoa's eyes nearly bug out at the sight of the mess in the room. There is a bowl of cake batter on the floor just sitting there, alone… There is something wrong with this picture and—is that oil on the floor?! Oh god, it's everywhere!

"I'm not cleaning that mess up!" Klonoa looks around the room. Aside from her and the sprite, it's empty. "Dad! Where are you?!"

Klonoa was pretty sure she saw the car still parked in the driveway, so her father should still be around…unless… "SHOES!"

BAM!

"Dad, where the fuck are you?!" That was the sound of Klonoa quickly dashing out of the house in search of her father. The utility room is empty and the area around the house was a complete mess— "MY SWING SET!"

Gone is the lovely swing set she has fond memories of… And yet, her childhood nemesis that was the spring-mounted pogo-ride still lives on to see another day.

"This is stupid…" At least the roses are doing fine…

…

…

Okay, just standing around here is making Klonoa feel uncomfortable. The sprite still keeps talking and Klonoa still can't understand a damn thing. She can also hear the rude voice talking to her again, but she just ignores it and goes back into the house. It is noticeably much colder inside, but Klonoa doesn't care.

**BOY, QUIT ALL THIS SCURRYING AROUND.**

For the last time, this boy's name is Klonoa!

Klonoa uses both hands to flip off the text above her as it is doing nothing to help her out of her gender predicament. At this point, all amusement is gone because there is no entertainment from it. It's just a nuisance and a poorly constructed running gag of sorts.

**FINE. KLONOA. RETURN TO YOUR QUARTERS.**

At this point, Klonoa doesn't care anymore. She returns back to her room, making a face when she sees black, petroleum-based sludge smearing her floor and smudging her bed. It's just everywhere. She avoids the sludge and makes her way to her laptop.

**NOW KLONOA. RESPOND TO YOUR FRIEND UNIT.**

Apparently, Klonoa's internet is working and so is the power. Klonoa does not stop to question anything. It was best to move on.

PS: Klonoa?

PS: You there?

- panaSule [PS] is now an idle chum! -

KD: Hey!

KD: I'm here! I'm not dead!

PS: I know.

PS: I've been watching you scurrying around.

PS: Why didn't you answer me sooner?

KD: I was looking around for my dad. :C

KD: Have you seen him?

PS: I'm sorry, but no.

PS: He'll eventually turn up. I'm sure of it.

KD: Do you know where I am?

PS: No, but your neighborhood was destroyed by the meteor. Wherever you were transported, it saved you from the impact.

PS: I've been reading reports in the news. Over the last few days, there have been smaller meteor collisions with people's houses around the world. It's just everywhere and they're getting bigger.

PS: Yours was apparently the biggest they've identified so far.

KD: That is a lot to take in…

KD: This is all the game's doing…and in order to live, we have to play it.

PS: That about sums up the reason why I'm writing an FAQ.

KD: OMG, you'd be awesome at it. Like, you're always reading them to me…so you have a lot of experience. By the way, I never did tell you how helpful you were at doing that!

PS: Thank you. :)

KD: I should be thanking you…anyways, as far as I can tell, I'm in control again.

PS: Huh?

KD: The perspective change, you know…the narration thing.

PS: Oh…wait, so does that mean it'll happen to me?

KD: Hopefully and if it does, I hope it goes better for you.

KD: Because of the damn text, I'm still being called a boy.

KD: It's not amusing any more. :C

PS: So where's your PDA?

KD: Uhh…

PS: Never mind, I found it…it's right next to your bed.

PS: You were in a hurry and you must have dropped it.

KD: No shit…oh god, that was intense…

KD: I am so…I just don't know how to feel anymore.

KD: I feel like crying.

KD: It's just so much to take in…

PS: Shh, shh…it's okay. If you want to cry, you can cry.

PS: I know it's a bit crappy, but I've been meaning to send you a present. I'm still working on it… So in the meantime, I guess I'll just say this.

PS: Happy birthday, Klonoa!

KD: …

KD: …

PS: Klonoa?

KD: I'm sorry, but I think I got something in my eye…

KD: Just thank you…

PS: No problem. I'm just going to give you some space. Also, there's a pink Fetch Modus card next to your window. You might want to get it.

PS: Anyways, meet me back on the balcony when you're ready.

PS: Kay?

KD: Mkay…

It feels good just to talk to a friend…and cry. Crying is what Klonoa is doing right now. Near-death experiences of this particular encounter are not something this girl can handle lightly. It takes her a few minutes to finally feel better enough to go pick up her PDA. Of course, she stops herself before she picks it up.

Pana mentioned a pink Fetch Modus card. Klonoa walks over to her window and finds the aforementioned card on the floor. It's her Stack Fetch Modus card! It was actually missing from her Sylladex, now that she thought about it. She just never lingered on the subject too much due to lack of time.

Anyways, it could certainly help out a lot, considering if she needed to access something in the first card, she could switch her modus to do so. Of course, if something gets trapped in her Sylladex via Stack Fetch Modus, Klonoa could try her luck with the Spinner Fetch Modus. It's still an inconvenience, but not as much as it would be with just being stuck with using either.

**Klonoa: Get card.**

Klonoa makes a face as she captchalogues the card into her Sylladex. She has to play a game of spin the arrow if she wants to apply the card. Fortunately, Klonoa has all the luck she needs as the arrow lands on the Fetch Modus card after a quick spin. Of course, it might just be BS luck because Klonoa just spun the arrow without even planning it. There were no carefully spun arrows this time around!

The Spinner Fetch Modus is switched out with Stack and the first item in the Sylladex is the telescope. Klonoa goes over to pick up her PDA and it is now the first thing in her deck. Life has been made much easier with easy access and BS luck. Klonoa toggles between Fetch Modi with gleeful abandon.

"I feel so much better!" Klonoa smiles ecstatically.

**DO AS THE GREEN TEXT SAYS. TO THE BALCONY.**

All of Klonoa's happiness diminishes as she recalls the disembodied voice. Since she got here, she's been compelled to do a lot of things by some voice she is not really sure she can even hear. Thanks to the voice, Klonoa recalls that Pana is waiting for her on the balcony. Klonoa makes her way to the balcony per the voice's awkwardly-worded request.

The wind still sounds eerie as ever and it's colder outside. Klonoa is not used to cold weather of this kind. She feels as if she should go back inside to get a sweater or something.

She almost does, but the voice stops her.

**WAIT! TAKE THAT. THAT BLUE WOBBLY THING.**

Klonoa makes a face as she looks at the TOTEM that was used to create the APPLE TREE earlier. She might as well take it and into her Sylladex it goes!

"Anything else?" she asks as she looks up at the black sky. She is really fucking cold. She wants a nice, warm sweater…or maybe a turtleneck. Klonoa isn't that picky about her fashion…unless otherwise.

There is no answer and instead, she hears an alert from her PDA. Someone else seems to be messaging Klonoa on the PDA outside of Pesterchum. A closer look reveals that she isn't the only one trying to locate her father after the disaster.

"Dad…" Now Klonoa is sad again.

**THESE BORING MEN ARE UNINTERESTING.**

Klonoa refuses to say anything this time. Instead, she closes out the message and switches back to Pesterchum. Pana seems to be pestering her.

PS: Are you okay, Klonoa?

PS: You look a little hesitant…

KD: I am really cold…

KD: I'm wearing a shirt and pair of overall shorts.

KD: And my hair is still wet.

PS: Oh my…

KD: I'm gonna catch a fucking cold at this rate…

KD: I'm just…I need a hug…like badly.

KD: And my dad…

PS: I'm still remembering memories back and forth.

PS: Did you know I can play the violin?

KD: That's nice!

KD: I can play the piano!

KD: Well…better than I usually do, which is just play by ear.

KD: But yeah…so what now?

PS: I think we should work on prototyping the sprite again.

KD: Yeah, I think we should…

PS: Hurry up inside.

PS: My battery's starting to die.

PS: It turns out, the reason it was plugged, was because it was charging.

KD: Bada dadada da, boink.

PS: Glad you're feeling better.

KD: Any time…I'm also gonna get a sweater, too.

PS: Well, I better get back to that FAQ.

KD: Good luck!~

…

…

* * *

A/N End of chapter.

Our SWACAstuck members so far:

**KlonoaDreams**

**PanaSule**

**DarkenedRazor**

**Roni_Valentine**

It's the start of Act 2 and the perspective has changed! Yeah, here's the thing about the perspective change…it plays an important role in this story. As from what you can see, the perspective change gives the current character more control over their selves.

Anyways, sad news for SWACA…one of our members has left the internet due to his mother finding out about his internet life and taking his laptop away due to keeping his internet life secret for over a year. Just…it hurts losing a good friend. SmashBron64 will be missed and hopefully, he comes back because just…it's a stupid reason. He doesn't deserve that.

His mother might feel betrayed, but the only reason Smash kept it from her was because of the exact reason of what ended up happening. I'm probably rambling, but it just…it IRKS me. SWACA lost a good friend.

So that running gag about Klonoa being mistaken for a boy is actually something that has happened to me before. I never found it amusing when it happened on this site because I stated my gender and even explicitly mentioned my gender a few times in my A/N's. It just shows that people aren't really paying attention.

Now on Twitch while streaming, I DO find it amusing because the assumption comes from my name and voice. THAT'S when it's amusing. Well, that's it for now.

And yes, I'm taking things seriously at points. Because here's the thing…we got four people who were pulled out of their old lives and planted into new ones with memories of it. They still have memories of their past life and it ends up conflicting with the new memories. It can be rather frustrating at times.

Well, that's it for this chapter. I'm rather liking this story's progress. Hope you guys enjoyed! Review if you wish! SWACA loves feedback! Until next time, KD out! XD


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